Title: Keepaway
Characters: Bobby, Sam, Dean
Classification: GEN, ficlet, missing/alternate scene
Rating: GEN, PG13 (language)
Warnings: SPOILERS FOR EP 2.15 TALL TALES, and possibly 2.14 Born Under a Bad Sign, by a reference.
Word Count: 450-ish words
Disclaimer: Mine! All mine! Hahahah... oh, wait, the medication is kicking in now... no, they aren't mine. *sniffle*
Summary:A phone call to Bobby. Notes under cut for spoilers.
Translation Available - Russian. Linked at bottom of Fanfic Index Page


A/N:This is kind of a missing scene from Tall Tales. Sort of. Well, it would be a missing scene if Sam and Dean hadn't decided to phone Bobby until after their little brawl, instead of phoning him after finding the alligator scale and before going sewer-spelunking. It jumped into my head as a complete Conversation, but was too confusing to leave it as just dialog because of the three voices and assorted ruckus, so I forced some structure on it, hopefully it'll make sense.

Keepaway
by CaffieneKitty
- - -

Bobby picked up the phone, wiping engine grease off his hands onto a shop rag. "Hello?"

"-asshole!"

"Hello!?" The voice was familiar, but Bobby couldn't think of a soul who he'd annoyed enough to call up and shout profanities at him. At least not recently.

"Sorry, Bobby, not you. Knock it off, Sam!"

Bobby frowned. "Dean?"

"Yeah, look, Bobby, I hate to impose but some jerk flattened my-"

Another familiar voice interrupted from the background. "-didn't do anything to your car!"

"Shut up, I'm on the freakin' phone and you did too!" Dean shouted.

A loud clunk carried through the phone, followed by a distant and muffled, "-my damn phone, Sam!"

Bobby listened intently to rustling, further thumps and general sounds of a scuffle. The background noise cleared and a strained voice came on the line. "Hi Bobby."

"Uh... Dean?" Bobby ventured.

"No, it's Sam. Let go, Dean!"

"What's going on there, Sam?"

"Dean's being an idiot."

"Hey!" A muffled whump.

"Ow! Jerk!"

"Sam?" What the hell were they doing?

"Just wanted to say, it wasn't me, there's no way I'd- ooof!"

"-my phone back, bitch-"

"Hang on a sec, Bobby." The scuffling noises resumed.

"Can one of you tell me what's going on??" Bobby bellowed into the phone, wondering if one or both of them had forgotten to wear the anti-possession charms he'd given them a week or so ago.

Over the phone, a door slammed shut. "Sorry 'bout that." There was a new, very echoing quality to the voice.

"Sam?"

"Yeah." Noise in the background, hammering. Bambambam! "Look, we're in Springfield, Ohio and someone, not me, flattened all the tires on the Impala. Dean's having kittens about bent rims." BamBamBam! No not hammering, pounding on a door.

"Sounds like you're trying to kill each other," Bobby said, tactfully not adding 'again', even in jest.

"Naw, Dean's just pissed because he figures I'm the one who flattened the tires because he stole my laptop!" Bobby was sure that Sam hadn't shouted that last phrase for his benefit.

Bam! Bam! "-didn't touch yer freakin'-"

"-and then he stole my money!"

BAM! BAM! BAM!

"You're gonna break the door down, moron!"

"-getting the lockpicks, Sam!"

"Yeah, whatever!"

Bobby cleared his throat. "Uh... Is everything all right?"

"Well, besides the car, we're kind of hoping you can come out because this case we're working on is, uh... weird."

"Uh hunh. Weird how?"

"Um." The faint rattling of a doorknob carried over the phone. "Really weird. Can't explain it over the phone." Loud thud. "Oof! Can you come meet us? We're at a hotel called the King's Lair, room twelve." Another thud.

"Uh, sure. I'll bring the shop truck to get the car fixed up, be there in a day or so."

"Great," said Sam.

Louder thud. "-any good leaning against the door, Sam! I know that bathroom has a window! You don't come out, I'm gonna-"

"Sorry, Bobby, gotta go. See you when you get here?"

"Okay..." said Bobby.

"I hope you're happy, Dean. Bobby thinks we're crazy-" The phone disconnected.

Bobby took off his cap and rubbed his brow, staring at the receiver in his hand, wondering what in hell the boys had gotten into.

- - -
(that's it)

Tags: 2.15, au, fanfic, ficlet, humor, missing/alternate scene, supernatural
Current Mood: anxious
Current Music: "Carrot Juice is Murder" ~ Arrogant Worms