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Sherlock Fic: Two short Comment-Meme Fills - CaffieneKittySpace
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caffienekitty
caffienekitty
Sherlock Fic: Two short Comment-Meme Fills
I posted these anonymously on the meme; I am now de-anonning and claiming credit. Minor edits from anon posting. No spoilers for the episodes.

Disclaimer:The characters and world of Sherlock do not belong to me.

#1
Title: A Little Bit of DIY
Rating/Warnings: GEN, PG-13, mild gore and violence
Prompt: John Watson, Action-Medic.


John regretted not wearing a tie for the first time in his life. Or a belt, blasted jeans. He kept pressure on the wound deep in the woman's thigh but too much blood was still seeping out between his fingers. It was a mixed blessing she'd fallen unconscious.

"Tourniquet, tourniquet, I need a bloody- SHERLOCK, GET BACK HERE I NEED YOUR SCARF!"

"Busy!" Sherlock's faint voice and footsteps echoed around the underpass as he chased their quarry.

"Right," John gritted, "Not a problem, I'll just deal with it." He kept pressure on, wondering if he could unravel his jumper one-handed. But that would take too long, she'd bleed out. And it was ludicrous.

"That's not very nice," came the voice of the man Sherlock had been chasing. "Messing with a man's work."

"Oh for- SHERLOCK, HE'S BACK HERE! HE'S CIRCLED 'ROUND!" John glared into the darkness. "I don't have time for you now!"

The man detached himself from the shadows, knife glinting, the woman's blood staining his suit. "I worked hard on that one, and you're interfering with my work."

"Look, you rabid nutter-" John glanced up to see the man's tie swinging from his neck. "Ah, perfect!"

With one hand keeping pressure on the wound, he pulled out his gun and shot the man in the knee.

The man screamed and toppled, losing his grip on his knife as he clutched his knee and fell towards John.

"Thank you," John said as he dropped the gun, snatched off the man's tie, and tied a quick tourniquet.

The man groaned and cursed, scrabbling in the dirt for his knife.

Hands freed from their duty, John picked up the gun again. "Ah, no, that's quite enough of that."

The man resumed clutching his knee and cursing.

"John?!" Sherlock's voice echoing again.

"It's all right, Sherlock! I've got him!" With two fingers tracking his patient's pulse, John kept the gun trained on the man.

"You've ruined my leg you bastard!"

"With good care that will heal well enough for you to take part in the prison Olympics. But you do have two knees and sundry other painful areas in which to get shot. Now, let's chat." John aimed at the agonized man. "Where are you keeping the others?"

- - -
(that's all for that one)


#2
Title: A Pleasant Friction
Rating/Warnings: ... um. Not nearly what it sounds like from the title. I'm calling this SQUINT, but, well, opinions will vary. Might be OOC-ish at the end. PG for musings on the nature of sex and sexuality.
Prompt: Sex is boring.


Sherlock's never seen the point of sex. Oh, the continuation of the species, certainly, but 94.5% of all sexual activity is non-procreative in nature, either by contraception or by sheer impossibility of impregnation. It certainly doesn't warrant the attention it gets. From what he's seen, all of popular media is obsessed with sex or sexuality. All it is is friction applied to specific nerves to mimic the act of procreation and thus trigger the reward system evolved to ensure the species doesn't die out for lack of progeny.

Love, also pointless, beyond its consideration as a motive. Another reward system to trick primates into forming a social group to support the survival of offspring. More chemicals in the brain. And yet almost every piece of music written throughout history is in some way based on the concept of love or sex. Murderers kill their lovers, their lovers' lovers, fits of rage, jealousy, envy, want. Why would anyone write songs to that? Pointless.

All this... activity, murder, jealousy, hormones, brain chemicals, friction, all based on the evolutionary imperative to procreate, and support the results of procreation.

Children are not something Sherlock thought he would ever be personally involved with the generation or care-taking of. Therefore no point to any of it, not for him. The refutation of evolution.

He looks across the kitchen at John. John stands over the toaster with a butter knife at the ready, tousle-headed and muzzy in his striped pajamas. He scratches his hip and gripes about the lack of milk.

Sherlock weaves his fingers together and rests his chin on them, wondering if his sociopathy will keep them from being allowed to adopt.

- - -
(That's it for that one too. *koff*)

There's a couple others I've posted anon but I'm not brave enough to claim credit for those, and I'm not as happy with them in terms of the writing.

Tags: , , ,
Current Mood: nervous nervous

43 comments or Leave a comment
Comments
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pippal From: pippal Date: August 21st, 2010 07:28 pm (UTC) (Link)
Awwwwww at the last one.
Wonderful writing<3!
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: August 21st, 2010 11:22 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks! :-)
badesquisse From: badesquisse Date: August 21st, 2010 07:45 pm (UTC) (Link)
These are really good! The thought of Sherlock with babies is frankly scary though.
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: August 21st, 2010 11:22 pm (UTC) (Link)
It most certainly is. O.O
ciaranbochna From: ciaranbochna Date: August 21st, 2010 07:52 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hee!! Excellent, I am with John I would have shot him too..lol Sherlock and dating/children. No, does not compute:)
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: August 21st, 2010 11:28 pm (UTC) (Link)
I figured some people wouldn't like the second one. It's on the OOC edge for me too, but I wanted to get the scientific view of sexuality in there and still have it be fluffy. The original prompt was asking for porn, so, it's quite a compromise. :-/
gracious_anne From: gracious_anne Date: August 21st, 2010 09:11 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh, the first one. YES. I love John-with-a-gun.

The second one: Adopting children? wow. really? ok...(I hope Mrs. Hudson makes a good babysitter)



caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: August 21st, 2010 11:30 pm (UTC) (Link)
The second one is a bit on the OOC edge for me too, sorry you didn't like it. There is, in the wilds of the fic meme a very cute gen fill with Sherlock and John babysitting, if I can find it I'll be reccing it the next time I do a recs post.
batgurl10 From: batgurl10 Date: August 21st, 2010 09:20 pm (UTC) (Link)
Loves * infinity! Your john is exactly that bad ass mofo ! And sherlock actually considering adoption long as its with his john.....! Those tidbits made me soooo happy, please consider expanding them? I don't even care which....
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: August 21st, 2010 11:31 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks! I doubt these will ever get expanded, but there will be more fic in time.
bugeyedmonster From: bugeyedmonster Date: August 22nd, 2010 12:09 am (UTC) (Link)
Last one was awww....

That first one made me LOL even with the dark humor. (But hey, I find Blackadder shooting taunting children funny.) First one should be listed as "why one should never annoy a veteran with a loaded gun."
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: August 22nd, 2010 08:36 am (UTC) (Link)
Or maybe "why one should never be a crazed knife-wielding murderer and annoy a veteran with a loaded gun"?
lurkerlynne From: lurkerlynne Date: August 22nd, 2010 01:01 am (UTC) (Link)
We should be grateful that modern technology isn't up to letting Sherlock reproduce with John.

Their children would be terrifying.
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: August 22nd, 2010 08:37 am (UTC) (Link)
That they would.
cordelia_gray From: cordelia_gray Date: August 22nd, 2010 01:33 am (UTC) (Link)
Love both of these! Big fan of BAMF!John Watson. And Sherlock's contemplation of the utterly pointless activity he's engaging in is quite delightful.
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: August 22nd, 2010 08:38 am (UTC) (Link)
Thanks!
seergirl From: seergirl Date: August 22nd, 2010 03:26 am (UTC) (Link)
*glomps John the Action Medic* Awwwwww

That's done it. You've converted me. I have to go watch this show now.
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: August 22nd, 2010 08:40 am (UTC) (Link)
Huzzah! There's only three 90 minute episodes in the first season, so it won't be too time consuming to watch.
patster223 From: patster223 Date: August 22nd, 2010 05:53 am (UTC) (Link)
BAMF!John is my drug. *huggles fic* Thank yoou.

Also, Sherlock with children? ROFL! I'd loooove to see him interact with some children. He'd be terrifying.
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: August 22nd, 2010 08:43 am (UTC) (Link)
There needs to be more BAMF!John. Also more woobie!John and more whumped!John. *nods*

Also, Sherlock with children? ROFL! I'd loooove to see him interact with some children. He'd be terrifying.

Buried somewhere in the first 7000 posts of the fic meme is an adorable Gen 'John and Sherlock babysit' fic. Check their del.icio.us tags, it'll turn up.
malevolent73 From: malevolent73 Date: August 22nd, 2010 06:53 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh glee! Oh glee!

I LOVED the first one. I loved John so nonchalantly yelling for Sherlock then realizing the bad guy was right there and just BAM! And all, I need your tie, jerk. That was gloriously funny.

And the 2nd, well. Freaking adorable. My goodness, they are just to precious together, it's insane. The sight of oblivious John standing by the toaster with his morning hair, it's to cute! And Sherlock staring at him wondering that adorable scenario.

Man, I would love to know the others you've posted. There's no way in hell they can be as bad as you think they are when you're as good as you are in the first place. Send me secret links, pretty please? *bats eyelashes* But obvs you don't have to if you're that uncomfortable with it. *nods* *hugs*
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: August 22nd, 2010 08:52 am (UTC) (Link)
Thanks!

Man, I would love to know the others you've posted. There's no way in hell they can be as bad as you think they are when you're as good as you are in the first place.

Heh. Um. Well there's bad and there's 'bad'. *koff*

Send me secret links, pretty please? *bats eyelashes* But obvs you don't have to if you're that uncomfortable with it. *nods* *hugs*

...I might. No promises. I'm still clutching my own pearls rather a lot about them. XD
anniehow From: anniehow Date: August 22nd, 2010 09:06 am (UTC) (Link)
*executes spit-take* Ok, now I'm imagining the poor case-worker assigned to them... LOL

Case-worker: Er... it says here that you've been diagnosed-

Sherlock: Yes, Yes, I'm a sociopath, but I'm high functioning! Surely that's not going to be a problem?

Case-worker: O_O

Sherlock: Besides, John is perfectly normal.

Case-worker: Actually, I was referring to Dr. Watson's PTSD diagnoses. *receives text* Er, excuse me, apparently there's someone from Whitehall that needs to see me urgently...
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: August 22nd, 2010 09:14 am (UTC) (Link)
And of course there's a call from Whitehall, because Mycroft will just make it happen. Or block it completely for the sake of the hypothetical kid. XD
lelann137 From: lelann137 Date: August 22nd, 2010 02:38 pm (UTC) (Link)
OH you should be brave. they are fantastic. i think the first one is my favorite. thanks for sharing
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: August 22nd, 2010 11:06 pm (UTC) (Link)
*blushes* Thanks.
cherish4 From: cherish4 Date: August 22nd, 2010 02:54 pm (UTC) (Link)
The first one is just brilliant! It could have been lifted from the show itself. The dialogue and everything is just perfect.
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: August 22nd, 2010 11:15 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you so much! :-D
veronamay From: veronamay Date: August 26th, 2010 09:20 am (UTC) (Link)
#1 - competent!John makes my insides go all wibbly. In a really, really good way.

#2 - AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. Yeah, that's all I got.
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: August 26th, 2010 03:27 pm (UTC) (Link)
Glad you liked!
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