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Sherlock Fanfic: 3 Titleless Conversation-style Comment-fics - CaffieneKittySpace
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caffienekitty
caffienekitty
Sherlock Fanfic: 3 Titleless Conversation-style Comment-fics
Incidentally, have three random titleless conversation-style fills from the Sherlock BBC meme. These are all Gen and rather silly, though one's a little pervy, and one's a bit dark.

Hanging around the flat with Sherlock and John.

Prompt: Write Sherlock's reaction while reading the nearest book to you.
Originally posted here.


"Done it. Done it. Done it. That wouldn't work at all. Done it..."

"What are you reading?"

"Mycroft's idea of a joke."

"'The Complete Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook'?"

"Yes."

"And you've done that much out of it?"

"Yes. Hazards of the job."

"You've seriously wrestled an alligator?"

"The case with Mrs. Hudson's husband was in Florida, and it wasn't as though it was an intentional alligator-wrestling incident."

"Ah. Well, you do lead a hazardous life, I suppose this is just his way of saying he worries, wants you to be safe, be careful and all that."

"No."

"No?"

"He sent it for you, John."

"Oh."


- -


In response to a random non-prompt involving yogurt and the Sherlock DVD cover.
Originally posted anonymously here.
Warning: Mildly pervy.


"John, why are you licking that DVD case?"

"Oh! I didn't know you were in!"

"Evidently I am."

"I just spilled some beans on the cover, so I'm licking it off."

"The question then becomes why are you eating beans on toast overtop of a DVD of... 'Tomb Raider'?"

"I, uh, didn't want to spill any on my trousers?"

"We do have trays."

"It's... I... Oh hell, it's Angelina Jolie for Christ's sake, Sherlock! I like a little fantasy with my breakfast."

"Ah. Well then. I should point out you've missed a spot by her left hip."


Bonus Icon (made at the request of an anon person at the meme):



- -


Prompt: One of the heads in the fridge turns out to be someone John knows.
Originally posted anonymously here.
Warning: Dark Humour.


John liked opening the fridge lately, because he knew who was in it. He was pretty sure that was very very wrong but didn't care. He smirked at the severed head as he dug around in the veg drawer underneath it for something edible.

"You know," he said to the head, conspiratorially, "when Sherlock's done doing whatever he's going to do to you, I'm going to stuff firecrackers into all your sinus cavities and set them off. Tit for tat, so to speak."

"John," Sherlock called from the sitting room, "if you're done gloating for the afternoon, could you close the fridge? He'll start to go off soon."

"In a minute," John called back. He pulled a slightly limp stick of celery out of the veg drawer and munched on it, still smirking.

He was right about the look of surprise, but not right about how long we'd get to relish it.

"John?"

"Closing it now!" John tucked the leafy end of the celery stalk behind Moriarty's left ear with a grin, then gave a Three Stooges-like "Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck!" and poked the head in both eyes at once.

Moriarty's head rocked backwards slightly on its neck stump before returning upright, celery drooping from its ear but shocked expression intact.

John chortled and closed the door.

- - -
(...and that's all I'm admitting to at this time ;-D )

Tags: , , , , ,
Current Mood: devious devious

25 comments or Leave a comment
Comments
fenm From: fenm Date: January 16th, 2011 07:59 am (UTC) (Link)
UAHAHAH!! Moriarty's head in their fridge. I love it!

a Marx brothers-ian "Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck!

That's the Three Stooges, not the Marx Brothers.
/You can't fool me, there ain't no Sanity Clause!
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: January 16th, 2011 08:03 am (UTC) (Link)
Fixed, sorry about that. I failed Classic Slapstick in school apparently.
fenm From: fenm Date: January 16th, 2011 08:06 am (UTC) (Link)
Hee. That's ok. (-:
bugeyedmonster From: bugeyedmonster Date: January 16th, 2011 08:12 am (UTC) (Link)
LOL at the last.

I also found it so sweet (and just a tiny bit hot) how Sherlock points out John missed licking a bit of Angelina Jolie's hip on the DVD cover. lol!
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: January 17th, 2011 05:03 am (UTC) (Link)
He's ever so helpful.
rose_cat From: rose_cat Date: January 16th, 2011 08:22 am (UTC) (Link)

incoherent review is incoherent

OMG! Love ALL of these SO MUCH.

And the nearest book to me right now is Watership Down. I think you were lucky there :)
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: January 17th, 2011 05:04 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: incoherent review is incoherent

I keep it next to the computer for fic purposes. ;-D
anglepoiselamp From: anglepoiselamp Date: January 16th, 2011 01:29 pm (UTC) (Link)
I... have no idea what's even going on in the middle one, but the first one is HILARIOUS and I'm a little disturbed by how funny I find the third one. :D
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: January 17th, 2011 05:05 am (UTC) (Link)
This fandom tends towards the disturbing and funny, so I wouldn't worry. ;-D
willow_41z From: willow_41z Date: January 16th, 2011 05:05 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh DEAR. These are all... quite memorable, in a good way. I think the first one is my favorite. :D The premise of the third, however, is also quite amusing.
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: January 17th, 2011 05:06 am (UTC) (Link)
After the stuff he's done, Moriarty needs to have his head gloated at a bit.
irismay42 From: irismay42 Date: January 16th, 2011 06:18 pm (UTC) (Link)
So Sherlock is John's worst case scenario? Yes. I can see that being the case.
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: January 17th, 2011 05:07 am (UTC) (Link)
Could be. More personally hazardous than a warzone at least, and more chances of getting abducted.
samalander_dawn From: samalander_dawn Date: January 16th, 2011 08:35 pm (UTC) (Link)
oh awesome :D all 3 made me giggle maniacally for entirely different reasons :D

(the first made me look around to see which book was closest to me....then realize Sherlock would demand a micrometer to determine which was, in fact, closest :D )
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: January 17th, 2011 05:08 am (UTC) (Link)
He would, too.
lawless523 From: lawless523 Date: January 16th, 2011 09:08 pm (UTC) (Link)
These are wonderful! Sherlock could indeed be difficult to survive. I liked the other two as well. As childish as it may seem, Moriarty deserves all the taunting he can take.
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: January 17th, 2011 05:08 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh absolutely!
eightnoon From: eightnoon Date: January 16th, 2011 11:52 pm (UTC) (Link)
Haha! Those are great!
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: January 17th, 2011 05:08 am (UTC) (Link)
Thanks!
ciaranbochna From: ciaranbochna Date: January 16th, 2011 11:59 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hee hee, all fantastic, but I have a soft spot for the first;) Love that book..lol
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: January 17th, 2011 05:09 am (UTC) (Link)
It has proven useful on occasion! XD
malevolent73 From: malevolent73 Date: January 18th, 2011 12:22 am (UTC) (Link)
The first made me LOL in rl. And the others were great too obviously. I was a bit taken aback by John's glee at someone's head and then realized who it could possibly be. Totally justified gloating then. :)
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: January 18th, 2011 05:53 am (UTC) (Link)
Moriarty's a special case. Blowing up an apartment building to prove a point earns him a postmortem gloating, not to mention everything else he's done/doing.
rachelindeed From: rachelindeed Date: January 19th, 2011 02:16 am (UTC) (Link)
The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook was sheer genius. The alligator Florida thing was PERFECT. <3 <3
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: January 19th, 2011 03:50 am (UTC) (Link)
Thanks! I keep it by the computer in case of emergencies. XD
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