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Sherlock Fic: Lactose Intolerance - CaffieneKittySpace
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caffienekitty
caffienekitty
Sherlock Fic: Lactose Intolerance
Title: Lactose Intolerance
Fandom: Sherlock (BBC)
Rating/Warning: Slash UST, PG-13, Suggestive imagery and juvenile lewdness.
Word Count: 400-ish
Beta/Preview: ciaranbochna and sandrinnad, who have the knowing of things.
Summary “Ice cream is exquisite. What a pity it isn't illegal.” ~Voltaire
A/N: A tamer-than-asked for response to this prompt at the meme.



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Lactose Intolerance
by CaffieneKitty
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It ought to be illegal for Sherlock Holmes to eat ice cream. Lestrade watched the man's shockingly pink tongue work around the edge of the cone, lapping at where the French vanilla met the sweet ridge of toasted hand-rolled waffle cone. Darting out to catch the creamy white dribbles trailing slowly down...

Should definitely be illegal. Lestrade thought, dropping his eyes to his own banana milkshake and clearing his throat. At least in public.

His mind flooded with images of Sherlock, a pint of strawberry ripple and all the privacy in the world. He cleared his throat again and looked back up, determined not to act like a teenager though certain parts of his anatomy were giving it serious consideration.

Sherlock tilted his head and he began nibbling around the rim of the cone, teeth nipping gently- Oh Christ. Lestrade turned abruptly to Doctor Watson, sitting next to him in the booth. "So, Doctor Watson, nice job catching that bit about the marks on the neck."

John Watson's mouth hung open slightly as he watched Sherlock’s progress around the ice cream cone; a spoonful of his hot fudge sundae dangled in mid-air, forgotten and melting.

"Doctor Watson?"

John looked down and carefully put the spoon back into his dish. "Um. Yeah. I...." He cleared his throat, glancing anywhere but at Sherlock or Lestrade.

A dribble of melted ice cream trickled halfway down the side of Sherlock’s cone. With an “Ooo!” Sherlock turned the cone and licked all the way up the side with that damned pink tongue. A customer passing the table stumbled and dropped her lemon ice, eyes fixated on Sherlock. The Flake bar sticking from Sherlock’s ice cream seemed suddenly far too phallic.

He’s a public menace, and he doesn't even realise what he's doing to-

"This is quite good," Sherlock said, tip of his tongue flicking at the corners of his mouth, fastidious. "We should go out for ice cream more often."

"Mmm," said John, eyes widening as he stuffed a spoonful of sundae into his mouth.

"Well," said Lestrade.

"Though I don't know why they'd want to ruin a perfectly lovely vanilla with a vulgar bar of chocolate." Sherlock extracted the Flake bar from the ice cream and held it out, dripping. "Would either of you care for a lick?"

John choked on his hot fudge. Lestrade used the distraction to shift in his seat.

Absolutely. Illegal.

- - -
(that’s all)

Tags: , , , , , ,
Current Mood: embarrassed embarrassed

30 comments or Leave a comment
Comments
fanbot From: fanbot Date: April 26th, 2011 01:42 am (UTC) (Link)
Now I could go for a nice... tall... dark... chocolate! Yes, chocolate shake. That's it...
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: April 26th, 2011 05:11 am (UTC) (Link)
Yes, of course! XD
embroiderama From: embroiderama Date: April 26th, 2011 01:42 am (UTC) (Link)
Heeeee!
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: April 26th, 2011 05:11 am (UTC) (Link)
:-D
ciaranbochna From: ciaranbochna Date: April 26th, 2011 01:56 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh yes, this:) Not that you didn't know;)
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: April 26th, 2011 05:12 am (UTC) (Link)
Well I had a hint.
samalander_dawn From: samalander_dawn Date: April 26th, 2011 03:13 am (UTC) (Link)
delicious :D
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: April 26th, 2011 05:12 am (UTC) (Link)
Thanks again.
disastrolabe From: disastrolabe Date: April 26th, 2011 03:16 am (UTC) (Link)
SO fun! Thanks for posting this. :D
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: April 26th, 2011 05:12 am (UTC) (Link)
Glad you liked it!
verityburns From: verityburns Date: April 26th, 2011 06:23 am (UTC) (Link)
Mmm, lovely. Don't think I've ever started craving ice-cream quite this early in the day before...

Beautiful stuff; I particularly enjoyed Sherlock describing his Flake as 'vulgar' :)

*wanders off, in search of the Ben & Jerry's*
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: April 26th, 2011 11:46 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you! I will admit I have an altered perception of ice cream after writing this.
d_kota From: d_kota Date: April 26th, 2011 06:55 am (UTC) (Link)
Wow, well this is something I didn't know I needed, and now I need more Lestrade and John just watching Sherlock be sexy. Like, I could read this forever.
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: April 26th, 2011 11:48 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you! :-D
jemariel From: jemariel Date: April 26th, 2011 06:56 am (UTC) (Link)
Yeeeeeeeeeeessss beautiful xD
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: April 26th, 2011 11:48 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks!
bugeyedmonster From: bugeyedmonster Date: April 26th, 2011 07:39 am (UTC) (Link)
LOL! There's something I love about clueless!Sherlock, especially like this. LOL! Poor John and Lestrade. *snigger*
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: April 26th, 2011 11:49 pm (UTC) (Link)
Glad you like!
jerel From: jerel Date: April 26th, 2011 02:02 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh my! Yes, you should go for ice cream more often!! :)

Very lovely.
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: April 26th, 2011 11:49 pm (UTC) (Link)
Indeed they should. :-D
red_chapel From: red_chapel Date: April 26th, 2011 04:10 pm (UTC) (Link)
Delicious!
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: April 26th, 2011 11:49 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks!
atlinmerrick From: atlinmerrick Date: April 26th, 2011 07:47 pm (UTC) (Link)
The visuals....oh lord the visuals. Thank you. Thank you.
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: April 26th, 2011 11:50 pm (UTC) (Link)
Glad they worked!
lbmisscharlie From: lbmisscharlie Date: April 26th, 2011 07:47 pm (UTC) (Link)
YUM. In every sense of the word.
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: April 26th, 2011 11:50 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hee! Thanks!
(Deleted comment)
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: April 27th, 2011 04:34 am (UTC) (Link)
Of course! XD
ladygrendel From: ladygrendel Date: April 29th, 2011 05:27 am (UTC) (Link)
Voltaire was right. My friend likes to eat her ice cream cones like she's in a porno too. I can just imagine the way everyone's staring at Sherlock.
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: April 29th, 2011 03:50 pm (UTC) (Link)
It's a food that lends itself easily to innuendo, for sure.
30 comments or Leave a comment