WARNING: CONTAINS IMAGES AND DETAILS OF THE SHERLOCK SERIES 3 SECOND EPISODE. If you are not watching Sherlock Series 3 at UK pace, this post is CHOCK FULL OF SPOILERS. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
CONTAINS: random live-bloggish babble, episode details and spoilers, pointless comments, meta, speculation, capslock, ACD references of dubious validity, un-spoiler-cut ACD-story-canon-based speculation regarding developing story/character arcs, brief references to other fandoms, and squee. Also profanity. Also between the
Spoilers I knew for this episode before watching.
John and Mary are getting married. Sherlock's the best man and he's making a toast.
So obviously that's going to go perfectly.
(Speculation: No it won't. XD)
Seriously, I've got nothing. If I've heard anything else, I can't remember it and am not going to try to jog my memory. If the guy at the end of "Empty Hearse" is someone from ACD canon, I obviously don't know canon well enough to identify who it could be. I don't know who else is that obsessed with Sherlock (or the Sherlock Crew as it relates to Sherlock) other than Moriarty.
Oddly, it makes me more nervous that this guy seemed to have those safety countermeasures in place for John (the green boughs, the dampened wood, the updates to Mary and Sherlock) than if he'd had a flat-out plan to kill John with no chance of rescue. It implies he's got darker plans, and darker plans than putting an incapacitated John Watson in a bonfire are kind of scary, looking at the amount of access to their lives this guy already has.
He needs a name for reference purposes though, since I can't keep calling him "the guy at the end of 'Empty Hearse'", so I think I'll call him the Fire-Watcher.
Shall we attend a wedding?
Picspam Reaction/Recap for Sherlock Series 3 Episode 2
PART ONE - "The Sign of Three" (*glee*)
[I should mention now, that for the several
-GAH! I think that's the first time I've been deafened by a newspaper. *turns sound down* that was startling.
-*examines article* *blink* NO WAY!!! LESTRADE'S A DCI NOW! Detective Chief Inspector! He got a promotion! WOO!!! \o/ And is visibly shaken by something. Eee.... Back to the whole article then. While I'm not going to transcribe, but I will say could really use a proofreader. And not just for the doubled paragraph (As if no one was gonna notice. Pft.) Scandalous robbery, Chief of Scotland Yard's future uncertain (Not Lestrade,
-18 months ago, so while Sherlock was "dead", which explains much.
-HI SALLY!!!! HI! Guess you aren't in a different division, though you could still be one of DCI Lestrade's DI's at this point.
-"Next time we're gonna catch 'em in the act." Oh dear, that sounds like it could go so wrong.
-Yup. To the tune of two million pounds. Article written by, hm, someone with a name that goes "A________ S______". Possibly Alfred. Hm. Odd. Text goes flying past too fast and blurry to catch most of it, but something about the Chief Superintendent maybe nearly getting fired. Couldn't happen to a nicer bloke. Also, funeral directors are on alert about freezing weather, and motocross bikers are being harassed by 'scooter hoodlums'. Darn those scooter hoodlums! *fistshake*
-Twelve months ago, still no Sherlock, and sometime between the reporter taking the picture of the car and Lestrade getting in, some bastard has gone and peeled off the police parking permit (or whatever that badge in the corner of the windscreen was). I blame the director or the DP, who sacrificed the sticker continuity for the sake of unblocking a clear shot of Lestrade's rumpled chest. ...Well alright then.
-"They always know we're coming! How do they always know!" Inside source or breach in security. Hard to fight unless you keep your plans off modern tech information storage and communication systems, including mobiles, and limit the need-to-know pool. ...I have played waaaaay too many intrigue-based RPGs. :-P
-"They're never gonna stop."/"Well, neither are we." I do like Donovan. She's straightforward and determined and doesn't put up with faffing around, and she supports Lestrade in his work. They make a good team. It's hard that she's one of the ones that fell for the fake evidence against Sherlock, and like I said in the previous recap, I think as Sherlock's review board drew to a close she did realize she'd been wrong about Sherlock, but stood by calling the evidence as she saw it, and that Sherlock would respect that. However, canon is happening now, so we'll see how wrong it says I am. Maybe.
-Mystery Woodland Blight Threatens Rural Habitats! Also, Lestrade and the Met are still screwed, or so says *squints* Richard Fuzzmumblesomething, only in a slightly different way. The Met team on the case has 40 people in it, and the robbers now have a name. The Waters Gang. Hm. *re-eyes that first paper with the article about the Thames*
-Six months ago. Sherlock's getting closer... Lestrade however isn't.
-Gang walks free (no byline at all), or according to the one bit I can sort of read, dances free (younger brother Brian Waters, older brother Derek) like Fred Astaire, so it looks as though Lestrade's gang are finding enough to bring cases to trial, just not enough to convict. Also, moderate drinkers are laughing, power failures talk was premature, and some guy got out of parking tickets by proving he had memory loss issues. Canny bastard.
-Three months ago, Lestrade started kicking the tires of his Met-issued vehicle in front of the courthouse. Looks like he might have parked on the sidewalk too...
-"In the act!" Lestrade isn't having a good time of it. Surprised he didn't trot this case out to Sherlock and Molly when Sherlock came back, but Lestrade seemed a little ...off for that visit to the basement. Distracted. I thought it was just delayed shock from Sherlock's return (or maybe a surprise party) but... Hm. He certainly doesn't seem like himself right now.
-Ooof. Yeah, not himself at all. I don't know if he's venting a bit of understandable Sherlock's-"death"-related stress in Donovan's direction in the face of not having Sherlock there to help, but I hope he apologized for that door bump later. Not professional or cool.
-More clown things, hmm? Could be these guys are connected to the Fire-Watcher (which is what I'm calling the guy at the end of "Empty Hearse" until he gets a name, in case anyone reading this skipped the spoiler section.) Not like that's a big leap to make; he's bound to turn up in this episode somehow. Meanwhile, I can tell you Chuckles here is blond, shaved bald, and has pierced ears and a mustache. And since this is yesterday, maybe we'll get Sherlock in on it and find out why it seems to be so hard to get enough evidence to convict them. Which seems really weird, no?
-Yeaaaah, clowns. Ha.
-Gold bricks? Which bank in England has gold bricks? *Googles* Ohhh, Bank of England. The same one Moriarty hit last series, though nothing was stolen that time. You know, their security team has got to be having nervous breakdowns by this point. Hm. *Googles more and does quick math* As far as I can tell, each of those bars is worth £400,000, and weighs nearly 17 pounds, and 3 bars would be about 50 pounds, or about as much as an average seven-year old. Gold bars wriggle less though. From the laptop it looks like maybe the Fire-Watcher has managed to make Moriarty's mythical computer code that can open any lock be an actual thing, or something like it. Which would explain a lot.
-You don't say.
-"Still blocking it?"/"Yeah, very efficiently hacked." *blink* Sally Donovan's doing some counter-hacking? COOL!
-Aw, brief moment of hope on the case for Lestrade. Don't think it will last. Although I'd happily watch Lestrade and the Met go around and snark at each other and solve some crimes themselves, the show is called Sherlock for a reason. Maybe a spin-off? Lestrade, DCI. Heh. Not likely.
-Okay, clown masks are never right, but those are just EXTRA WRONG.
-"You never called me Boss before."/"Look what happens when you're good." Aw. They're so happy and pleased with each other. And it's all going to come crashing down around their ears in a big way. *winces* Also, um. Let the armed response team go in first, right guys? I'm not calling his competence into question but that one fellow behind Lestrade has managed to point his weapon at Lestrade's arse and legs a few times.
-Momentary thought. If the Chief Superintendent's job's on the line, he's probably barred Lestrade from bringing Sherlock in on this or any other major cases (the fake body in the basement being a very non-major case), because that would make the Chief Super look even worse, having to bring in a consultant he'd once arrested as a fraud. Especially since the Chief Super, what little we saw of him, seemed to me to be the sort to worry more about his job and reputation than, you know, actually getting the job done. Which would stress Lestrade all to hell, especially if Sherlock's heard about the case in the media since the terrorist plot is done with, he's probably pinging Lestrade's mobile about it five times a day.
-Speaking of pinging Lestrade's mobile. That's either Sherlock again, or the Waters gang mocking them as they run off into the night with like, what, £800,000,000 worth of solid gold? XD
-The more tactical preparations Donovan lists off here, the more certain I am the gang's escaped all of them.
-"It's him isn't it?" Eeek! No, no, wait, this is going to be a wedding related thing, isn't it.
-The look on his faaaaaace. *smishes Lestrade* You're going to want to kill Sherlock when it turns out he needs help with, like. Uh. Hm. He'd know about clothes and stuff for the wedding probably, and John and Mary and the wedding planner or whatever probably have that figured out. Something Sherlock can't ask John. Don't think it's about the speech, Sherlock's more likely to give it his own signature style and not ask for help, even though he would really really be better off having it beta'd so. Heh. STAG NIGHT. Must be.
-"I have to go." Just. His face. And bailing in the middle of a major bust on a huge case they've been working for well over a year, because Sherlock's asking for help and saying please. And he's going to totally kill Sherlock when he finds out what he's in a panic about, but he can't ignore it, because that is a thing that probably never happens (or maybe might have happened in the early days when SHerlock was working on getting clean?) so, yeah. Though really, texting back or calling first for details would be a wise idea. But still. Dropping everything to go help Sherlock because he's texting for help. I have no words for this *gestures in air with hands* semi-paternal guardianly friend schmoopishness, but I WANT MORE. *makes note to find fic for this sort of thing later*
-"Jones will get all the credit if you leave now, you know he will." And Lestrade's faaaace!
-"Doesn't matter, I have to go." LESTRAAAAAAADE!!! COME LET ME SMISH YOUUUUUU!!!! *flaaaaailing* \o/
-On the up side, I've completely reversed on my earlier thought that the gang's gotten away and now I'm sure they'll be captured and have nothing to do with the Fire-Watcher. Also, Donovan's... I don't know what to call what she's doing here. Blowing an invisible tuba of frustration? Sure, that works. Maybe. It's cute, whatever it is.
-"I need maximum backup." *facepalm* Dude, dude, dude. Get details first, or at least try and see if a response happens. Then push the panic button.
-Really though, if your recently discovered not to be dead (how exactly do you describe the relationship between Sherlock and Lestrade? Friend/co-worker/hyper-intelligent problem child with a penchant for attracting the attention of international criminal psychopaths?) friend started texting HELP at you in a panic (especially if you thought you had failed him and contributed to his 'death' in any way and had lingering issues about it), you'd probably have a bit of trouble stopping to think when it seems like he's in serious danger again. However, on the other side of things, Sherlock REALLY REALLY NEEDS to look up the story of the boy who cried wolf. Because I get the feeling a wolf is out there watching him. Mwahaaha. (Sorry, couldn't resist.)
-Hee. Product placement! BMW and Dunlop tires. They can take a kicking from "the best of a bad lot".
-You know, if you aren't being shot at and don't hear any shouting as you're tearing up the stairs (uncappably) and you don't smell fresh blood or smoke (even harder to cap the absence of a smell) then it's probably not the kind of emergency you're thinking of. Though sometimes complete silence can be even scarier.
-"This is hard." Ah, it's the speech. That much glare from the screen it has to be a blank word-processing page. Darn. I bet Lestrade could plan one hell of a Stag Party. *waves hello to the Sudoku Rubik's cube*
-"Hardest thing I've ever had to do." Heee. Actually, yeah, because heartfelt sentiment and stuff. *eyes apparently broken clock radio in background and wonders if it was once John's*
-*snerk* First, stop reading books about it. Just open your mouth, I'm certain something unforgettable will come out, though perhaps not in a good way. Second, get ready to have that book stuffed somewhere very uncomfortable as Lestrade has a very large and loud aneurysm at you.
-"D'you know any funny stories about John?" Meanwhile half the police force is pulling up outside.
-"...What!?" Heeeee! See, that's why you always call or text to find out what's going on before calling out the armed response units. Especially with Sherlock for whom a lack of milk could be seen as an emergency. Perhaps Lestrade should also brush up on his reading and look up "Chicken Little".
-Although, you know really, thinking about this from Greg's view.... Besides the "Sherlock back from the dead/don't want to go to his funeral ever again" business, there's also the attack on John. At the "coming out of the coffin" party at 221B we saw part of at the end of the last episode, besides knowing about the bomb train (as he would since the police were called in, and if they aren't flagging everything involving Sherlock Holmes or John Watson to be CC-ed to Lestrade's attention, then the Met admin team are idiots. If not, Greg probably has, like a *handwave* thing, like Google Alert on the Met casefile database for their names because he's not an idiot) Greg had to have seen John's head injury. He'd have asked about it and subsequently find out that John had been attacked and nearly set on fire, which he may not have been aware of if the police weren't called in. I imagine that after being sure that John was okay and/or being taken to the hospital nearby, Sherlock probably interrogated the crap out of anyone who'd stand still about who laid that bonfire and when rather than worrying about calling in the police. That's assuming some smart person or twelve in the crowd hadn't called 999 when they saw someone being pulled out of the bonfire, summoning hordes of uniformed police et cetera to stomp all over any evidence the crowd hadn't already got to before filing a report with Sherlock and John's names in it, sending a copy to Lestrade's desk etc. So, one way or another, Lestrade knows about the giant bomb under Parliament that they were nearly blown up by, and the abduction, drugging and attempted charbroiling of John Watson. He knows that Sherlock didn't text for help then, and that the person responsible for the abduction is still at large and evidently quite a scary bastard since he arranged this rather gruesome death for John in the middle of a public family-oriented bonfire night. SO. Given all that, when he sees that the frantic texts are from Sherlock, some of the thoughts that have to go through his head is, "Is it one of the new psychos again?", "Sherlock didn't call me about John in the bonfire or the train bomb, this must be worse," and "If Sherlock's in trouble at Baker Street, why isn't he texting John? Is John hurt or abducted or dead??" and go from there to spin into some kind of horror scenario about what the newest mad bomber and/or mad John-conflagrationist has done to each of them. Should he phone or text back? What if some psycho has them at gunpoint or is torturing one of them or whatever and Sherlock's only getting the texts out because their assailant hasn't noticed he's got his phone yet? They're only short messages, maybe that's all he can get out. If it rings or chirps with a text message being received, the assailant would notice and it'd make things so much worse. Maybe there's a giant bomb in Baker Street and a ringtone will set it off. Who knows with these mad bombers that seem to pop up around Sherlock. Then there's the fact that after that flurry of panicked texts from Sherlock, they stop. Completely. Silent. I think Lestrade has every good reason to be hyper-vigilant about his friends' safety. At that point I'd probably call out all the dogs too. (I might also call Mrs Hudson en route and ask about shouting or gunfire, but given Sherlock's usual habits that probably wouldn't clarify matters much either.) Very long story very short: Greg is justifiably worried about his friends being in serious trouble in a way that has a not-negligible chance of involving enough explosives to take out a whole street, and he can call up a veritable army of cops as backup, so he does.
-"You didn't go to any trouble, did you?" It's even worse when Sherlock doesn't seem to have a clue that he's just scared the crap out of someone. Or is pretending to not have a clue to hopefully keep Lestrade from going berserk on him. Heh. Although if Lestrade's been keeping him out of the Waters case, this could be a subtle payback. Sherlock seems to have picked up some very bad habits during his 'death', like scaring the crap out of his friends by making them think things are much more permanently lethal than they really are, just for the LOLs.
-Oh god, he's called in helicopters too. Poor Lestrade. XD
-Awkwaaaard... and still a troll.
-Opening credits contain a close-up image of someone's hand stroking the wallpaper at Baker Street... O.o buuuuuut I'm trying not to pay too close attention to the credits because spoilers or something. Yeah. (Although if it does turn out that the wallpaper invasion is evil, just remember, I did call it. XD)
-Oh hello, this one was a big collab-writing effort! I thought they each wrote separately and that it was Moffat's turn at the script desk for some reason. Now I shall have happy thoughts of a big Sherlock Writer's slumber party all-nighter crunch-time weekend with all of them in comfy PJs as they churned out the details between them over fine brandy, mediocre pizza, over-heating laptops and slightly lumpy futons, and their spouses kept a nervous eye on the basement door and wondered about all the mad cackling. *sighs wistfully*
-Eee! Violin! *grins* Hard to cap a sound though. Hm. There are a lot of plant pots on the balcony of 221B that don't seem to have plants in them... Hm. Experiments? If that's the case, I'd avoid sitting in the area of potential down-drip from Speedy's awning... O.o
-Title: The Sign of the Three, obviously a reference to the ACD story "The Sign of the Four" (the details of which I don't remember at all and won't be looking up because spoilers (heh)) and also possibly a reference to our current BAMF trio of Sherlock, John and Mary. I do know that "Sign of the Four" is where Watson and Mary meet when Mary hires Holmes for a case, and at the end when the case is resolved, she's engaged to Watson. I think. But in ACD canon, Mary had passed away for handwavey Victorian reasons while Holmes was away being 'dead' so there are of course several departures from the original arc already for Mary. But... hm.
-Mrs Hudson, hearing the violin again in 221B. Awwww *flails a little* (Though I get the feeling Sherlock's not playing it...)
-The stair didn't creak! She avoided the creaky stair! The one Moriarty stepped on! Because she didn't want to distract Sherlock from playing! AWWWWWWW!!! \o/
-*sneeeeerk* Oh dear god, that's right, there's going to be dancing.
-"I was road-testing." AWWWW, HE'S WRITING MUSIC FOR JOHN AND MARY'S WEDDDIIIIINNGGGGGGGG! Probably even their first dance! AWWW! *FLAILS EVERYWHERE* Aww. Seriously, that's just- *flails*
-"You bring me tea in the morning?"/"Well where'd you think it came from?" AWWWWWWWWW I'm gonna hurt something flailing here. *smishes Mrs Hudson* (Also, of course Mrs Hudson knows how he takes his tea! Milk, no sugar, as seen before. *smishes her again*)
-"I dunno, I just thought it sort of happened." Hee. Silly.
-"Your mother has a lot to answer for."/"Mm. I know. I have a list. Mycroft has a file." I don't think we'll be seeing much of the Holmes parents even after meeting them, but I'm still half-clinging to my original crack-crossover headcanon of Mummy being something like M from James Bond, and might alter that a bit to squish Mrs Holmes into being a former something sort of secretive but on an analyst level, but I don't know. The Holmes family is going to be interesting to play with, I think.
-"So, it's the big day then!" Mrs Hudson with her excited lap-drumming, hee! The big day? Not the wedding already, is it? There has to be a stag party or some kind of interruption by crazed ninjas or both yet.
-Nope, wedding. Hunh. "Two people who live together are about to attend church, have a party, go on a short holiday and carry on living together, what's big about that?" Well, that's one way of looking at it. Another way of looking at it is a biggish, publicly announced event where John, Mary, Sherlock, and many of their friends and relations will be in one handy little target-rich environment. If there's one thing we know about the Fire-Watcher (assuming now he's also the train bomber and just wanted to display a real threat to force that legislation through without the mess of all the damage, just like he abducted John but had the green boughs and wet wood to delay the fire enough for Sherlock to get there, because he has some other plan for them all that is making me nervous because I'm not sure what his ultimate motivation is... yet. *steeplefingers*) is that the Fire-Watcher likes a target-rich environment and likes to watch Sherlock franticly trying to save his friends (though really I shouldn't judge as I've been compelled to go back and watch that particular scene in "Empty Hearse" mumblehundred times myself. In my defense, I didn't put John in the bonfire myself, I'm just appreciating the whump and the frantic that resulted). Oh and another thing, being married to a person lets you have freer access to them and information about them if they're in hospital. Which... *eyes saline bag in credits*
-"It changes people, marriage."/"Mmm, no it doesn't." Heh. Oh dear, I think someone's subconscious is still hoping for John to fit exactly back into the place he was in Sherlock's life two (and a half?) years and a faked suicide ago. Aw. Silly subconscious.
-"You wouldn't understand 'cause you always live alone." Ooo, ouch, slight burn. Not always alone. But yeah, sort of. Particularly now, when 'John as flatmate' has become part of the idea he has of home, which he's still chasing but which seems to keep getting further away. Ow.
-"Your husband was executed for double-murder, you're hardly an advert for companionship." Oh she did sting him, if he's sniping back on that level.
-"Marriage changes you as a person in ways that you can't imagine."/"As does lethal injection." Pfffft! Ha! Oh come on, Sherlock, I'm sure you can imagine how lethal injection changes a person, right down to the cellular level. But yeah, Sherlock doesn't have any great esteem for marriage, which I believe is true to canon, and I'd link a clip from the Granada series here if I could find it, but I've just lost half an hour to Granada and pre-Series-3 fanvids so I'll be steering clear of spurious searching of YouTube for the remainder of this recap/reaction/picspam thing. :-P *handwavey fistpump*
-"Aren't there usually biscuits?"/"I've run out."/"Have the shops?" I was just about to say Sherlock seems to have mellowed in some ways towards social interaction, chatting with Mrs Hudson, but the whole "Marriage changes people" business and the anecdote about losing contact with her friend after marriage have set off Sherlock's social allergies and again. And yet he's demanding biscuits rather than outright shouting, though that may happen yet. Yeah, he's got some angst about that whole matter of maybe John not having time for him or drifting away, he does. Surprised? Nope, didn't think so.
-"She cried the whole day, saying, 'Ooo it's the end of an era.'" Really not helping Mrs Hudson. Unless you're trying to do some kind of sneaky psychological thing to try to save your favorite ship, but that's just unethical. XD
-"I'm sure the shop on the corner is open!" Hee. Still trying not to be an entirely shouty bastard. *pats*
-"Biscuits!"/"I really am going to have a word with your mother." Heeeee. Oh dear. There's fic in that.
-"You can if you like, she understands very little." I don't know abut that. I think she'd certainly understand biscuits and distressed little boys who are worried they're losing their best friends. *pats Sherlock*
-There's something in the expressions a person has when they're alone that tell a closer kind of truth, particularly when their faces in company are so planned and crafted. Small jaw clench, eyes looking miles away. Oh yes, he's anxious.
-And in case there was any doubt what he's anxious about, let's have a lingering look at the saddest comfy chair in the room. Awwwww.
-Aw. It'll be fine Sherlock. Mary's cool, you're not losing a blogger you're gaining a... part-time nurse with a secret tattoo. Or something. It flowed better in my head. But yeah. They'll just be living across town and you'll have to fetch your own pens and tea and milk and... awww.
-"Into battle." Hehehe. Just don't try going in Irene's version of Battle Dress. Though that would definitely be an unforgettable Best Man speech. Also, I trust you mean battle vs formal social situations with tons of people wanting to meet John's famous undead flatmate being inane at you, and not battle vs Mary because I really doubt John would ever drift away (even though you've been an utter ass to him what with the fake death with no explanation and the fake-out with the bomb and any sane person would probably never speak to you again, but *shrug* he's your Watson) and Mary is awesome and would kick your ass verbally if you were so wrong-headed as to think it's a case of only one of you gets John's time and attention, seriously. ...I'm worrying faaaar too much, yeah. It'll all be fine. Very awkward but fine. Also, they'll be busy thwarting not only the Fire-Watcher if he turns up for the show at the wedding, but every other criminal ever who has been irked by Sherlock Holmes or John Watson, hoping for some payback or doing research on who Sherlock and John's friends and family are so they can be used against them. Hm. Maybe Lestrade should bring his backup army to the wedding.... Assuming he's not too hungover, because if there hasn't been one hell of a Stag Night, roughly headed by Lestrade and Mike Stamford (but not John's sister Harry who'd be out making sure Mary had one hell of a Hen Party OH MY GOD ARE WE GOING TO MEET HARRY WATSON??? ARE WE GOING TO MEET THE WATSON PARENTS??? *BOUNCES*) I might be writing some very stern fanfic, I tell you what.
-Oh wow. Is that John?
-Suitcase and hotel-looking bed-spread. Ah, not John. It seemed a bit weird for him to get married in uniform when he's retired years ago. Which is too bad because among the many and varied things that might be gleaned about John from the uniform details (like which medals he's got and why he's wearing dress blues instead of the bright-red-breasted RAMC Officer Mess Dress more familiar to the members of the fandom with the inclination to Google uniforms John might wear, all of which is moot since this isn't John), there would have been John Watson with a sword on offer. Which would have needed to get at least meaningfully brandished before the end of the episode because JOHN WATSON WITH A GODDAMNED SWORD.
-Definitely not John, not unless he had something horrible happen to his left hand after the bonfire and we didn't see it. Who the hell is getting kitted up then? Is this... maybe... are we going to meet other members of John's family than Harry (who we damn well better meet), like maybe John's Dad? I... am suddenly awash with schmoop for the idea. Though, realistically, this could be anyone not currently in custody, including the Fire-Watcher. The hand damage would link in to the possible fire/explosives theme.
-Nope, not the Fire-Watcher either, wrong hair, no glasses. Who the hell are... oh. My god. Is it someone John's served with? Maybe helped (or judging by the grim expression, not helped enough according to him)? Or could it be Bill Murray (the Army Nurse who saved John's life)? And if it's not, is Bill Murray going to be at the wedding? Was he at the stag night with Lestrade and Mike and everyone else? *flutters around excitedly* This guy though does not look like he's going to a wedding for anyone he doesn't intend to kill or badly maim. Or maybe he's just SUPER hung over and trying not to vomit. The look is about the same in either case.
-Well, that was quick! O.o Unleeeesss.... Someone's having a nightmare, aren't they. Or about to. Eek. *eyes the Bridesmaids to try to figure out if one of them's Harry* Maybe the blonde one in the back? Hm... No groomsmen/ushers though? Hm, again. You'd think someone else would be on John's side. Still wondering if this is someone's dream/nightmare and if so whose. John's looking awfully pleased right now and that'd be just the thing to get shattered in a nightmare. *eyes conspicuous church graveyard*
-[Random after-watching side note: I can't find anywhere better to put this, but I've heard that apparently when this episode aired, Simon Pegg (who is RL friends with both Martin Freeman and Amanda Abbington) tweeted "I can't believe Martin and Amanda are live-streaming their wedding." Which I find unbearably cute. XD]
-Or it's pre-wedding photos so they're all pre-ceremony-fresh, rather than a bit rumpled and damp from going through a long and potentially emotionally fraught public ritual, etc. "Just the bride and groom please." Awwww, Sherlock. Or maybe Sherlock's dozed off in the cab and is having a nightmare about being excluded et cetera. Not nearly as likely though, as we've already had a good dose of how Sherlock is feeling about the situation so far this episode. *pats* (Seriously, that blonde bridesmaid in the back, that's Harry, right?)
-3D wedding photos. They're probably already being done by wedding photographers, or they're working on it. Not 3D is it though, it's that 360° Matrix thing. Bullet time. Bullet time wedding photos for John and Mary.... eeeek. O.o
-MRS HUDSOOOOOOON! :-D
-Whose small child is that? Could be a little relation of Mary's I suppose. Someone's got to be ring-bearer. Also... *points at person in yellow in the background* Molly, and judging by the chin behind her, Tom. And judging by her eyeline, She's looking right at Sherlock. Oh I don't think she's moved on from that crush yet. She's also giving me a bit of a faintly evil vibe for some reason. Anyway, poor Molly. And poor Tom.
-HI LESTRADE! Would have liked to see him being an usher. Doesn't seem to be turning into a nightmare here after all, but hard to say. Seems odd to skip the wedding itself, but eh. Mycroft probably had the place secured so nothing happened, and someone probably kept an eye on Sherlock in case he looked like he was about to do anything... unforgettable. Molly and Mrs Hudson and a few of the others, maybe. Can just see them all in the front row, and when the officiant gets to the 'speak now or forever hold your peace' bit, everyone turning to stare/glare at Sherlock in unison to see if he's going to open his mouth or do anything embarrassing or ridiculous, and him doing a double-take and genuinely having no idea what everyone's on about.
-Yeaaaaah, she's really not over that crush. Either that or she knows something we don't about what exactly happened during the Fall... *vague wild thoughts involving Sherlock actually having been dead and resurrection spells and Necromancer Molly and-* What? No, sorry. Did I mention the medication? *headshake* Anyway, aw Molly. Tom appears to be wearing the same suit as Lestrade now. Hm. Maybe they actually were both groomsmen/ushers, they just didn't walk out of the church with the rest of the lot. Aw, Tom's fitting in. (Either that or Tom's randomly dressing like a different one of Molly's friends every day. O.o) I think that probably means he's evil or doomed to die, possibly by being mistaken for Sherlock if he wears that coat and scarf all the time.
-Ah, that's what Molly's looking at so grimly. Sherlock and the Chief Bridesmaid, given the differing dress design. Aw. Who traditionally would be Mary's BFF or sister I think, but it could be Harry maybe? I don't know. I'm going to keep looking for Harry in this mob until she's pointed out. Because she's totally there, I just have no idea what she looks like other than 'John's sister'. It's like "Where's Waldo?" if you only know what Waldo's sibling looks like.
-On the upside, if they've skipped showing us the preparations and the Stag night and the Hen party and the ceremony, there's a whole swath of playground for fic in there. Orrr they're going to show bits of it in flashbacks as nefarious deeds start getting perpetrated (because of course they will) and they have to retrace what happened when to who to find out something about what's going on. *looks nervously at one fanfic WIP in her 'in progress' folder* Or maybe not. Hm.
-"No sex, okay?" Hee, Sherlock's face! Now leaning more heavily on this being Harry because based on her comments in John's blog, she's a bit of a smartass.
-"I'm only messing. Bridesmaid, Best Man, it's a bit traditional." It is? I don't think I'd heard of this before, but I've been to only three weddings in the past uh... 30 years. o.O
-"But not obligatory." Slight hint of accent... Still not sure if this is Harry or not, but I suspect not. After all Harry's heard about Sherlock, I doubt she'd joke about hooking up with him at her brother's wedding, even if she was attracted to men.
-"*deduces nearby wedding attendees as potential hook-up targets for the Chief Bridesmaid* Reviewing that information probably not your best bet." Hee! That's kind of sweet in a Sherlocky sort of way. He seems to have more openness to talking to random average people since he got back, but I suppose 2 years of having to interact with everyone under the sun in order to stay alive and not having any safe place to hermit up in and ignore all the idiots might cause some exposure tolerance to develop towards people who aren't being intensely frustrating or trying to kill him. Or it might cause some big thick social chameleon walls to form around a whole lot of nervous wreckage, but I might be projecting a little there. :-)
-"Mr Holmes, you're going to be incredibly useful." Oh dear. Sherlock, I think you've just been drafted into being the Chief Bridesmaid's wing-man. XD
-(Eugh. I forgot why I never buy this brand of tea bags. It tastes okay, but when made with the tap water in my town it smells like either fish or a wet dog. :-P)
-So, yeah, if I ever win the lottery I'll need the address of this place so I can buy it. I'm calling dibs. As long as it comes with an unobtrusive groundskeeping staff because I'm not maintaining all that.
-Oh god a receiving line. Hate those. If I end up in Hell, it'll be an endless receiving line. *squints* Are those Martin's parents (or rather mum and step-dad), therefore possibly making them John's parents, in a role that requires no acting really, since they're not actors themselves? They look familiar somehow and I have watched the "Who Do You Think You Are?" episode for Martin's family history. (Did you know that Martin Freeman's paternal grandad was in the RAMC in the Second World War? Given Martin has ended up playing what is probably the most famous fictional character who was in the RAMC (or as it was originally back in ACD's time, the Army Medical Service), I think that's... cool and awesome aren't the right words really, and 'fate' is a bit over-the-top, but I don't know how else to say it right now).
-(GOSH I am distractible. I blame the medication.)
-Oh and this guy with his sweaty palms and cocked eyebrow doesn't look suspicious at aaaalll... Or a former boyfriend who's not quite over Mary yet, judging by his face. (Oh look, possibly-John's parents have circled around immediately for another go through the receiving line. Aw. They must not see much of John. *handwaves continuity quibble*)
-HAHA, that wasn't awkward at all. I'd say definitely former boyfriend who's still carrying a pretty damn big torch and doesn't trust himself to not be an ass if Mary gives him a hug or the same kiss on the cheek she's been giving everyone else.
-"You look, um. Very nice." Ha. Yeah, he has it a lot worse than Molly does.
-"We've um. We've met." OH. With the 'I can still kill you where you stand' smirk from Sherlock and the 'See, I'm behaving' duck-face and head nod. Hehe. Sherlock figured out he was Mary's ex and went straight to the source of the problem rather than bother Mary or John and gave him a serious talking to before the ceremony so he wouldn't jump up at the "speak now or forever hold your peace" bit, or try anything stupid! *flaaaaaaaail* SHERLOCK'S MAKING SURE NOTHING HAPPENS TO WRECK JOHN AND MARY'S WEDDING OR UPSET THEM! *flaaaaail* Awwwww. Anyone who stared at Sherlock during the "speak now or forever hold your peace" bit would have really confused him then, particularly since he was probably shooting a glare of his own at David here.
-And a flashback to wedding prep. SHERLOCK HANDING OUT USHER DUTIES. (Or pretending to in this case I suspect, as if David had been contacted to be an usher, Mary wouldn't have been surprised to see him or feel the need to introduce him to Sherlock.) And deducing the crap out of David, and confronting the wishes-he-wasn't ex directly rather than bring the situation up to John or Mary. HEE. David picking up the Sudoku cube to fiddle with as he's talking to Sherlock about usher duties is such a classic for telegraphing defensive avoidance it's not much of a challenge to deduce he's got other things on his mind.
-"Ages ago, we're j- we're just good friends now." Pfffft. Suuure. Tell it to your face, buddy.
-Speed of Twitter response is one thing, but nearly excluding John from photos of him and Mary is a bit more of a worrisome sign. *nods*
-"You volunteered to be a shoulder to cry on in no less than three occasions, do you have anything to say in your defense?" Busted. Hee!
-"I think from now on we'll downgrade you to casual acquaintance, no more than three planned social encounters a year and always in John's presence." AHAHAAH, oh my god. XD
-"I have your contact details, I will be monitoring." *laughing, can't breathe* *waves at screen* AND HIS FACE! AND DAVID'S! *resumes suffocating*
-Seriously though, there are situations where that level of semi-creepy, over-involved, 'I will hunt any potential threat to your mutual happiness to the ground and neutralize it by the least-distressing-to-you means available' sort of friend would be kind of nice to have. Before the fact or after. And the guy was verging on eliminating John from group pictures and that really is a warning sign of dangerous obsession and potential very bad intents brewing that John and Mary are probably not fully aware of. A bit Bambi vs Godzilla, but there you are. *pats super-protective Sherlock*
-"High functioning sociopath. With your number." Don't mind me, I'll just be here choking to death because of face again.
-Hee! Don't mess with Sherlock's Sudoku cube.
-See, there she is again, pink with white flower hat, spouse not far behind. Honestly, John, if that's your mum and dad, give them a call or visit now and then and they might be less compelled to go through your receiving line multiple times.
-Aw, Sherlock has a little limpet! Hee!
-"He's really come out of his shell, I don't know how you did it."/"Um-" Flashback again! Looks like we will be getting the wedding prep or at least parts in flashbacks. COOL.
-Sherlock: *ringbearer coaching*/"What for?"/"Grown-ups like that sort of thing."/"Why?"/"I don't know, I'll ask one." *sneeeeerk*
-"Have you solved any murders?"/"Sure, loads."/"Can I see?"/"...Yeah, alright." HEEEEE! Sherlock and a kid. Oh dear.
-"What's all the stuff in his eye?"/"Maggots."/"Cool!" Ahahahaahahah oh god. XD
-"Beheadings!" *head-laptop* *laughs for a solid minute* *flails around* Oh god. Someone's little cousin has got a fine start in gore from this experience.
-That was some determined snogging going on. I'm thinking, since Molly was at the party at the end of the last episode and awkward Sherlock-clone fiance aside there seemed to be no lingering "you knew and didn't tell me?" stress between her and John, that she was probably offered a bridesmaid position but made an excuse to turn it down because of the whole Best Man/Bridesmaid thing and knowing she still has issues about Sherlock but wanting to move on from that and be with Tom, and so side-stepped that whole situation entirely. Aw. Meanwhile, Tom looks a bit drunk. Molly looks very pretty, and much less possibly-evil than before.
-Er. Or at least she did. Hm.
-Is that Mr. Chattergee as Mrs Hudson's wedding date? They must have somehow worked out the bit where he's married to two other people, at least as far as attending a wedding together goes.
-D'awwww, Greg. No date, giant tumbler of booze. Possibly. He probably needs it after the no doubt several more wedding-related social panics Sherlock has thrown his way. Could be apple juice if he's recovering from the hangover from the epic stag party that totally did happen even if they don't show it. Still. Awwwwwww. *pats*
-Sherlock deducing for the Chief Bridesmaid is made of win, because it's adorable, and it gives Sherlock something borderline interesting to do during an extended social ordeal, and it gives him a reason to be randomly deducing people and discover someone's not what they seem. Or something. Still haven't seen that guy in uniform, after all. *eyes crowd*
-"Can I keep you?"/"Do you like solving crimes?"/"Do you have a vacancy?" *wince* Ow. Probably not the best time to ask. Although, John will be going on a honeymoon, so even though I'm sure he'll still help out, who knows, she might do as a temp.
-Yeah, that's a definite ow there. Seriously, Sherlock, talking helps. John's not going to stop hanging out with you, and Mary's awesome, clever, and has a car. Everything will be fine. *pats*
-"Harry?"/"No, no show." Aw damn! Well, at least she was mentioned, and he does have a point about her probably not wanting to be around a source of free and easy and socially expected alcohol. *remembers one particular guest at the last wedding I attended...* Definitely wiser for her to avoid the reception if she's feeling a bit off, and given her own marriage wasn't exactly a success, she'd probably be a bit off after seeing her brother's wedding, and might end up buddying up with Greg over a few tumblers of possibly-scotch. Aw. *hugs Harry*
-"Oh! God, wow!" Okay, not someone John's unhappy to see then. Still nervous about him.
-And someone who was actually invited. And awwwwwwwwww. And *squints and googles* I believe that top medal is a Victoria Cross. Wow. I really hope he's not going to turn out to be nasty in some way.
-Major Sholto. Shaltow? Sholto. Not ringing a single bell. Major is one above Captain in British Army ranks. He might have been the same rank as John while in the service and risen above him after, though there seems to be a bit of commanding officer to him based on John's reaction.
-"If they're such good friends why does he never mention him?"/"Mentions him all the time to me, never shuts up about him." Hunh. Interesting. Well, considering he probably wasn't much up to talking about Sherlock on many occasions during his 'death', he had to talk about someone. *ponders* Also, I do love Sherlock's ease at talking to Mary generally. Just because.
-Mary's 'icky wine' face is just a hoot. Surprised she made it through that much of the glass if it's that bad. XD
-Sir, so yes to him being John's former CO then. "No more need for the-" What does he say? Sounds like "trick cyclist". *googles* Ah.
-"No, I go now and then, sort of a top-up." Aw. Wise after the past few incidents involving Sherlock though. *nods* Ella's probably in need of one herself after trying to counsel someone whose best friend that committed suicide in front of him came back to life and almost immediately made him think he was going to be exploded to death. There can't be too many prior cases of that going around.
-"John says he's the most unsociable man he's ever met." Yeah, I can see that. Sherlock's not exactly unsociable, he's... hm. Well, uh. Hm. Definitely not a recluse.
-"That's why he's bouncing around him like a puppy." *snerk* Aww, Sherlock's face.
-HEE!!! *smishes Mary*
-Just do yourself a favour and put the remainder of the glass down, or find out where Greg's apple juice is at, unless he's drinking the wine too, or scotch which would be even more inadvisable. Although on the up side, if the wine is that wretched the guests won't be drinking as much of it, so you'll be able to sell back the unopened bottles.... but... Hm. *now suspecting Mary's glass of wine has been tampered with and so SIDE-EYES EVERYONE*
(Darn LJ character limits.)
(PLEASE, NO SPOILERS OR REFERENCES TO ANY INFORMATION AT ALL FOR OR ABOUT EPISODES PAST 3.02 IN COMMENTS! )