Originally published on August 4th, 2006 on fanfiction.net

This is a poem. Yeah, a poem. Weird. Don't expect rhymes in this, it isn't a rhyming kind of poem. Also, in this kind of poem, punctuation and capitalization are used for effect, and don't always conform to standard English. This is probably the only poem I'll ever write for the series. It's sort of a summary view into John's mind over a year of tracking the Demon on his own.

Triggered by the following quote from John in the episode Salvation:

"Look, I wish I had more answers. I do. I've always been one step behind it. Look, I've never gotten there in time to save..."

- - -

One Step Behind
by CaffieneKitty

-

Leaving was hard, but had to be done
you wouldn't understand
you can't, Dean.

Patterns, once seen, never leave the waking eye.
death, weather, storm
a fire
a death

Another, following the signs to another
death, weather, storm
a fire
a death

Every time.

death - Cattle first, small sacrifices,
denied, forgotten, not reported.
Time lost because some
damn
farmer denied the event
fearing ridicule about aliens.

Every single time.

weather - Temperature fluctuations.
Heatwave in December, snow
in Missouri, in April.
Enough to make the newspapers
if the rest of the world stops existing
but not if there's politics available to report on.
News is only news
if you know what it means.
Thank God for the Weather Network.

Every single God damned time.

storm - Wind and lightning.
Ball lightning, sheet lightning, forks and crackling
shocks in the air, ozone.
See it, hear it, drive beneath it,
try to outrace it,
watch it fade.
Always too late.
Storm is done
and now the fire comes again.

Every time, I'm too late.

a fire - Rage on the horizon.
A shadow in the blazing laughing light,
seen or imagined,
no difference.

The end is always the same.

a death - Again, life ended, lives destroyed
Another fire,
another family,
another death,
another Mary.

Over and over and over
and over and
over.

I can't...
break scream cry rage
despair surrender stop
yield fail shatter

I can't. I don't remember how.
- - -

Tags: poem?, supernatural
Current Mood: dorky
Current Music: Romanian Techno...