Title:Conversations - Word Problems
Characters: Sam, Dean
Classification: Conversation, pre-series, Kidfic, gen, Humour, ficlet
Rating: G? K? Nothing that couldn't have been televised.
Warnings: None.
Word Count: 494 words
Disclaimer: For fun, not for profit.
A/N: Contains grievous errors in American roadway geography, I'm sure, since I've never driven a vehicle in the US. Particular apologies to anyone in Phoenix or Tulsa, two lovely cities I've never been to. Also, apologies to math teachers everywhere.

Originally posted August 7, 2006 at fanfiction.net

Conversations
by CaffieneKitty

Word Problems

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Timeframe:
Dean (14) helps Sam (9) with his math, sort of.

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"Dean, can you help me with this question? It's about cars."

"Okay, shoot."

"'If Car A leaves Phoenix, Arizona traveling fifty-five miles an hour and Car B leaves Tulsa, Oklahoma traveling thirty-five miles an hour, how far from which city will they cross paths?'"

"Depends. What route are they taking?"

"It doesn't say."

"Well, if they aren't traveling the same route they won't cross paths at all."

"I think it wants you to assume they're on the same road."

"Which one though? 'Coz if the guy coming from Phoenix is taking the I-17 to connect with the I-40 at Flagstaff, he's gonna hit the Crawl going through Glendale. No way he'd get through that at fifty-five. Twenty-five maybe."

"Buh-"

"He'd be better to take 60, switch to the 54 at Baker Lake and connect up with the I-40 at that park just past Albuquerque. What time are these bozos driving around, anyway?"

"Uh, it doesn't say."

"Well, now, see, that's important, 'coz if it's 5:30 p.m. in Oklahoma, the guy coming out of Tulsa has the yuppie rush he'll get stuck in no matter what road they're on."

"I-"

"The guy in Phoenix, he's in a different time zone, the rush out of Phoenix won't start for another hour and a half, so he can get clear before the lemming race. But if it's 7AM, the traffic's pretty much all going into town, so it's clear sailing for both of them. They can go maybe 60 if they watch it."

"But they aren't going sixty! It says one's going fifty-five and one's going thirty-five."

"Thirty-five? Which idiot's going thirty-five?"

"The guy in Oklahoma."

"On a highway? What's he driving, a tractor?"

"Doesn't say. Just says car B."

"Crappy-ass car. Unless he's on one of the back roads."

"It doesn't-"

"-doesn't say, yeah, yeah. Oh! Hey, maybe he's on one of those utility roads that goes through pastureland, and he's going so slow 'coz nothing's chasing him and he's gotta watch for cows and cattle grates. Probably got a car with no shocks."

"Uh... Cows?"

"So we just gotta figure out what routes go between Tulsa and Phoenix that start out going through pasture in Oklahoma, and we'll know how tough getting out of Phoenix is gonna to be for the first guy."

"I don't think that's what the question's asking, Dean."

"You sure about that? Sounds like it wants to know when they cross paths and unless you know all that stuff, there's no way to tell."

"Oh, never mind! I'll figure it out myself!"

"Okay then, probably better that way."

"...You did that on purpose."

"Did what?"

"All the stuff about routes and traffic and cattle grates. You weren't even trying to help me! You were just trying to make me give up on asking you!"

"You aren't going to learn anything if I give you the answers, Sam, you have to figure things out on your own. Or your brain's always gonna be the size of a peanut."

"My brain's not the size of a peanut!"

"You sure? I think I can hear it shriveling up from here. It wants some math, go feed it."

- - -

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Tags: conversation, fanfic, ficlet, humor, kidfic, pastfic, supernatural
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