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SPN Fanfic: Ugly Yellow Blanket - CaffieneKittySpace
('i' before 'e' if you're looking for me)
SPN Fanfic: Ugly Yellow Blanket
Title: Ugly Yellow Blanket
Rating: GEN, PG13
Characters: Sam and Dean
Word Count: 775
Warnings: SPOILERS FOR 3X05
Summary: Missing/alternate scene/coda for 3X05
A/N: Okay, this is kind of weird, arty and stream of consciousness-y, sort of, and totally not what I usually write (and obviously not what I'm supposed to be writing, arg). It contains present tense, abuse of parallel construction, way too many 'ands' and horribly, horribly ungrammatical run-on sentences. And some dubious characterization, maybe. This kind of ambushed me in entirety in the car tonight.

Ugly Yellow Blanket
by CaffieneKitty

Dean wakes sometime after the Impala wakes, but after it leaves. Knows that Sam has gone, and what he's likely gone to do. And Dean runs. No shoes, no jacket, just explodes out of the bed with its ugly yellow blanket, out the door, running after Sam. But he's gone. He's gone, glow of the taillights on wet pavement long faded around the corner and away.

His chest tightens and though the run was short, he suddenly can't breathe, can't get air past the fist of fear gripping his trachea, and looks around, looking for a car to steal and follow Sam but there are none at the hotel with the ugly yellow blankets, and he is standing in the light autumn drizzle barefoot in his shorts and a t-shirt and has no tools to steal a car with.

He runs back to the room and pulls on pants and boots and knows, knows that he's screwed everything up again, that he never should have told Sam to let him go, not yet. Knows that in minutes Sam will be dead, dead and rotting on some crossroads somewhere in the anonymous miles around the hotel where Dean will never find him in time and can't deal with it.

Dean picks up his cell and calls Sam but it goes straight to voicemail, and Dean disconnects before the message plays because he can't hear Sam's automated voice right now or he'll start breaking things and never stop.

He sits on the ugly yellow blanket, shaking in the dark room, thumbing through the names on his cellphone, scrolling through and through blindly, wondering if he'll even know when it happens, and how could Sam do this? And how could he be such an idiot? And what if it works? And that thought jerks Dean's head around like a hard slap because it can't work, he can't think that it will work, nothing will work and even trying is dangerous and where the hell is Sam?


Sam wants Dean to be awake when he comes back. He wants his brother to have heard the rumble of the Impala's engine leaving the hotel and woken, and have worked up a good solid fury at Sam for doing what he's done at the crossroads.

He wants to open the door of the hotel room and see Dean, sitting in the shadows, waiting for him to come back. He wants Dean to surge up at him in rage for what an idiot he's been, and how can you do this Sam?

He wants Dean not to have to ask what he's done, wants Dean to know from the smell of earth and ash and gunpowder, know from the dirt on his hands, the split of a fingernail, the one less bullet in the Colt. Wants Dean to yell at him, scream and shout and call him a moron because that's what he's doing in his own head.

Of course the red-eyed demon didn't keep the claim on Dean's soul. Of course it had passed to someone else, bigger, harder to reach. Of course killing her and her host did nothing but kill another innocent human, caught up in this war. Of course it was all useless, useless, useless, futile, stupid, useless.

He rolls into the hotel parking lot, not bothering to keep the engine quiet or douse the lights before they shine on the window of the room.

He wants Dean to demand answers. He wants Dean to know. He wants Dean to know everything.


Dean hears the roar of the engine and the window flashes from the headlights as the Impala returns to the hotel with the ugly yellow blankets, and Dean wants to stand up and shout and rage at his brother, but can't, he can't. Sam is still alive, didn't do something so stupid as summon the Crossroads Demon and try to shoot her, of course not this is Sam, he's not that much of an idiot and there's no way he's going to rage at Sam and fire his little brother into going out again and going through with it this time. Sam is still alive and Dean's not going to question it.

He slides off his boots and rolls under his ugly yellow blanket as the key turns the lock.


The hotel door swings open, nearly hits the doorstop, but Sam catches it at the last second seeing his brother laying quiet under the ugly yellow blanket. Not seeing the barely slitted eyes watching, not seeing the tense lump of muscle and bone that is Dean relax as Sam guides the door to a silent close.

No raging tonight.

Not tonight.

- - -
(that's all. See what I mean? Weird.)

Tags: , , ,
Current Mood: confused confused
Current Music: "I'm Not Okay" ~ My Chemical Romance

16 comments or Leave a comment
weesta From: weesta Date: November 3rd, 2007 12:31 pm (UTC) (Link)
I really liked this, Kitty! You had me all anxious with Dean in that first section, then Sam broke my heart in the second. I loved the repeated image of the yellow blanket. And I really liked that there was no resolution for either of the boys. Sad and lovely.
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: November 3rd, 2007 10:42 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you! I don't think I'd have felt right, having a resolution before one shows up in the series for this, because it's so huge and bound to be a large source of tension for a while, I think. But who knows, maybe they'll start next week's episode with the two of them bantering casually about it in the car, all resolved off-screen. But I really hope not.
tigriswolf From: tigriswolf Date: November 3rd, 2007 02:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
Aww, I like this in its melancholy way.
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: November 3rd, 2007 10:43 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you! I don't usually do melancholy, so I'm glad it worked.
delphinapterus From: delphinapterus Date: November 3rd, 2007 07:21 pm (UTC) (Link)
You really get Dean's panic across well. I have to confess that when Sam was thinking about what he wanted Dean to do when he got back I was getting really worried that he would find Dean dead or gone. It's the first time I've wanted to recheck to make sure there were no death-fic warnings. Kudos on keeping the tension so high.
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: November 3rd, 2007 10:53 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh, I'd definitely warn if it was death-fic. I don't do spoilers, for the show or for fic, but I don't want to ambush anyone with something like that.

I don't think I've written a death-fic yet, actually. "When the Fiddler Stops" has piles of death, but not of canon characters. I've had a dark, brooding plot-bunny for one since season 1, but it's in amongst the massive herd of inactive bunnies right now.
dwarfankylosaur From: dwarfankylosaur Date: November 4th, 2007 12:35 pm (UTC) (Link)
"not what I'm supposed to be writing," my ass. The tension and suppressed panic in this is pitch-perfect.
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: November 4th, 2007 12:55 pm (UTC) (Link)
Heh, thank you, I'm glad it worked. :-) "Not what I'm supposed to be writing" in terms of I'm about two weeks late on a promised update to my SPN/Doctor Who crossover that's being a pain. :-P
sadelyrate From: sadelyrate Date: November 4th, 2007 06:53 pm (UTC) (Link)
kind of weird, arty and stream of consciousness-y

At least for me, at the moment, that works unbelievably well. It's the witching hour, Dean dragged from (dreamless?) sleep suddenly, without a warning, Sam gone and maybe never coming back, the RED taking Sam's actions as a breach of contract...

Thank You for this. It might not have been what you were supposed to be writing, but sometimes the brain needs these little vacations to continue with the heavier stuff.

caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: November 4th, 2007 07:57 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks I'm very glad it worked.

sometimes the brain needs these little vacations to continue with the heavier stuff

The funny thing is the thing I'm supposed to be writing is an installment of a cracky SPN/Doctor Who crossover, so not exactly heavier stuff. I'm confused by my brain.
curtainpull From: curtainpull Date: November 5th, 2007 02:59 pm (UTC) (Link)
How much do I love this? A lot. Especially how Sam wants to get found out.

Also, you have me thinking meta type thoughts about the shere amount of yellow that's popping up this season. I mean, most of their motel rooms seem to have bene yellow or red, Sam's ties have (I think) everything. Or am I being overly analytic *g*
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: November 5th, 2007 04:36 pm (UTC) (Link)
I hadn't noticed that... Really, though, I think it's impossible to be over-analytical with this show. :-)
iamstealthyone From: iamstealthyone Date: November 5th, 2007 03:30 pm (UTC) (Link)
Dean picks up his cell and calls Sam but it goes straight to voicemail, and Dean disconnects before the message plays because he can't hear Sam's automated voice right now or he'll start breaking things and never stop.

Oh, Dean.

Good look at what might have gone through both boys’ heads after Sam left. Poor boys, all out of sorts and unable to really talk to each other.

*hugs them*
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: November 5th, 2007 04:43 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you! They really don't communicate well, these boys. There's going to be an epic amount of shouting when this and all the stuff Sam's not told Dean comes out, I bet.
nativestar From: nativestar Date: December 12th, 2007 04:38 pm (UTC) (Link)
This fic works really well. You can really feel all the emotions they're going through and I especially like Dean's frantic worry at the start.

Just to let you know, I'm doing a Bedtime Stories fic rec for spn_epific and I'm going to include this one.
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: December 12th, 2007 05:01 pm (UTC) (Link)
Cool! Thank you! :-)
16 comments or Leave a comment