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Sherlock Fanfic: Mustering Out - CaffieneKittySpace
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caffienekitty
caffienekitty
Sherlock Fanfic: Mustering Out
(It's been so long I've forgotten how to do headers. *facepalm*)

Title: Mustering Out
Fandom: Sherlock BBC
Rating/Warning:GEN PG13, pre-series John angst.
Word Count: 221B
Disclaimer: I do not own this world or these characters.
Summary: It's not the combat that wakes him, it's his expulsion from it.
A/N: Trying to jump-start my writing brain. Not Brit-picked because I don't like to bother anyone for something so short, but that also means this isn't going to be linked at the comm, at least not this week. So this is just a little pre-series angst nugget for people following my LJ. Thanks for hanging around guys, it means a lot that you're still watching. [LJ-only]


Mustering Out
by CaffieneKitty


It's not the combat that wakes him, it's his expulsion from it. Fire in his shoulder racing through the veins. Taking him out and rendering him useless.

Breathe. Breathe. It's not here. It's not now.

Clenching nausea rides somewhere between his lungs; his heart feels like it's being used for football practice. His teeth grind, frustrated, not helping. He was past this, things were okay. That's what he told the therapist with her beads and bangles and pen-on-paper scratchings; a blatant lie.

Breathe. No one's dying. Breathe.

But they are dying, aren't they? Or they might be, far away. War isn't the charnel house it once was, with hundreds dying each day, but it was still war. People got shot, blown up, mutilated and killed, and here he is in a safe little bedsit, crying over nightmares. Memories. Friends he can't help.

Not here, not now. Breathe. Calm.

What good is he here? Is he saving lives? Is he making a difference? No. He's a little grey man in a little grey flat living a little grey nothing life. There's nothing he can do but be calm, not make a fuss, not disturb anyone, just be grey in a grey world.

Exist.

Breathe.

- - -
(that's it.)

PS: This is similar to something rather darker I wrote that's in this meme-post compilation. I find John's pain fascinating, and I wanted to do a different view of the scene, again, and I'm not quite ready to delve into... other things yet.

Tags: , , , ,
Current Mood: frustrated frustrated

11 comments or Leave a comment
Comments
embroiderama From: embroiderama Date: February 1st, 2012 12:40 pm (UTC) (Link)
This is quite lovely, in a sad, painful way.
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: February 1st, 2012 05:08 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks. :-)
shadowfireflame From: shadowfireflame Date: February 1st, 2012 03:08 pm (UTC) (Link)
He's a little grey man in a little grey flat living a little grey nothing life.

Oh, my heart. This was hurty but also served to show how much more, for lack of a better word, colorful John's life becomes when Sherlock comes in. This idea really hits home in the unaired pilot where 221B has kind of reddish wallpaper, the contrast between John's grey and boring life pre-Sherlock and the bright colors afterwards.

That is to say, I enjoyed this. :D
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: February 1st, 2012 05:15 pm (UTC) (Link)
Exactly. Even in ASiP the colors and visual contrast are really present compared to John's previous life. It's a great film-making technique. :-)

Thanks for reading, and I'm glad you enjoyed.
lobelia321 From: lobelia321 Date: February 1st, 2012 08:02 pm (UTC) (Link)
I liked the little grey man.
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: February 1st, 2012 08:11 pm (UTC) (Link)
*pats him*

Edited at 2012-02-01 08:11 pm (UTC)
ciaranbochna From: ciaranbochna Date: February 2nd, 2012 02:08 am (UTC) (Link)
This is... 0.0 I will make a face, since I don't have the words. Wrenching and true.
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: February 2nd, 2012 06:37 am (UTC) (Link)
There's just something so compelling about John there. He's so much different than he is as the series progresses, it's an interesting place to explore mentally.

I really need more Sherlock Icons. So much to do, arg.
ciaranbochna From: ciaranbochna Date: February 2nd, 2012 04:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
It is in his every facial movement, his body language, tone of voice. Yes, I could go on forever...lol He is an endless source of fic, as is Sherlock.

Yes, you definitely need more Sherlock icons, but you also need sleep and food;)

Edited at 2012-02-02 04:26 pm (UTC)
rachelindeed From: rachelindeed Date: February 4th, 2012 06:49 am (UTC) (Link)
I love the way the series opened with John being trapped in his featureless life, and I think this captured that feeling well. Thanks for sharing it!
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: February 4th, 2012 07:00 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you! It's easier when you know his life doesn't stay that way.
11 comments or Leave a comment