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Crossover Fanfic: Whiskey Tango Foxtrot - CaffieneKittySpace
('i' before 'e' if you're looking for me)
Crossover Fanfic: Whiskey Tango Foxtrot
Title: Whiskey Tango Foxtrot
Fandom: Cabin Pressure/Avengers
Rating/Warnings: Gen, PG13, Conversation format, Crack.
Word Count: 390-ish
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or the world of Cabin Pressure.
A/N: Written for this prompt on the Cabin Pressure Comment fic meme. Two fic-like things posted in one weekend, that hasn't happened for me in a very long time, hurrah! [LJ-only]

Summary: S.H.I.E.L.D. Director Nick Fury is looking for people with unique skills, but perhaps not quite as unique as MJN Flight Attendant Arthur Shappey.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot
by CaffieneKitty

"Arthur Shappey? I'm here to-"

"WOW! You've got an eye-patch! Are you a pirate? Brilliant!"

"...No. I'm Director Fury, I'm here to talk to you about joining the Aven-"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I should have asked though, does it hurt?


"Your eye. The one with the patch."

"It's fine."

"Oh good! Because I had to wear a patch once when I stuck one of those have-an-arrow peppers in my eye, and it really really hurt, not like an arrow, more like burning, but sometimes that happens when I'm making Surprising Rice-"

"Look, I'm here because of your unique abilities-"

"Ooo! Crazy golf?"

"What? No! Your aggressive cheerfulness field and-"

"Yes! Fields are quite cheerful! Airfields particularly! Well, not Douz, but that got more cheerful after the cricketers moved the fire truck."

"The who moved the what now?"

"Cricketers! Oh you probably don't know what cricket is because you're an American. It's sort of like, well there's a ball, and a bat, and a wicket, not a cricket. Sounds the same but one doesn't jump unless the ball hits it. No crickets at all in cricket in fact so I don't know why it's called that really, but it's brilliant!"

"I- I wait- No. This is that other thing you do too, the distraction with spurious bullsh-"

"Did anyone ever tell you you look like that guy from that film?"

"What film?"

"It gave Skip nightmares for a month! He insisted on listening to all the passenger luggage to hear if it hissed."

"I still don't-"

"The one on the plane with the snakes?"

"What? No! I'm not him!"

"Oh, I know, because he has both his eyes and you don't. Ooo, crikey! I'm so sorry, that was very rude of me!"

"That's fine, I- What was I saying?"

"Well, you said something about directing a furry I think, but I don't know what's furry and needs directing. Ooo! Unless you're making a wildlife film! Is it about bears? I know a lot about bears! Well I did at least and I can again if I can find that book Mum got me for when we went to the place with all the wrong 'Q's!"

"What? No, I'm not making any movies about bears!"

"Well then, I don't know what you were talking about. You did say something else after about happy fields, but then we got talking about cricket and Skip's nightmares so I forgot to remember what I'd listened to."

"I- I think I should go now."

"Oh! Okay, bye! It has been myself's privilege today to enjoy meeting yourself."

"Yes, I- what? Never mind! Goodbye!"

- - -
(that's all)

Tags: , , , , , ,
Current Mood: anxious anxious

14 comments or Leave a comment
From: mildly_neurotic Date: August 19th, 2012 08:48 pm (UTC) (Link)
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: August 20th, 2012 04:33 am (UTC) (Link)
aelfgyfu_mead From: aelfgyfu_mead Date: August 19th, 2012 09:51 pm (UTC) (Link)
You're really on an Arthur tear today, aren't you? He does have some unique skills, it's true! Too bad Nick Fury isn't as prepared to handle him as Douglas or Carolyn would be.
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: August 20th, 2012 04:34 am (UTC) (Link)
It seems so! Most of the CP fic I've written to date (admittedly not much) heavily features Arthur.
space_oddity_75 From: space_oddity_75 Date: August 19th, 2012 10:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
Bwahahahaha! I love how Arthur's crazy talk can confuse even people like Nick Fury. That really is a unique skill. Go, Arthur!!!
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: August 20th, 2012 04:35 am (UTC) (Link)
It takes a lot to get Nick Fury to stand down.
221b_hound From: 221b_hound Date: August 20th, 2012 12:50 am (UTC) (Link)
I read this while waiting to order my morning coffee & was sprung laughing my head off and unable to explain. Good start to my day!
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: August 20th, 2012 04:35 am (UTC) (Link)
Happy to have helped get your day off to a good start!
ciaranbochna From: ciaranbochna Date: August 20th, 2012 02:02 am (UTC) (Link)
Snakes!! LMAO Poor Nick. *Pats*
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: August 20th, 2012 04:35 am (UTC) (Link)
He had no idea what he was getting into.
bluebrocade From: bluebrocade Date: August 22nd, 2012 05:34 pm (UTC) (Link)
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: August 23rd, 2012 05:48 am (UTC) (Link)
ayantiel From: ayantiel Date: December 12th, 2012 04:33 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm doubled over and laughing so hard my neighbour banged on my door to shut because he has to study, but oh my god xDDD
This was so perfect!!
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: December 12th, 2012 04:57 pm (UTC) (Link)
Glad you liked it!
14 comments or Leave a comment