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Sherlock Fanfic: I Think I'll Go For A Walk - CaffieneKittySpace
('i' before 'e' if you're looking for me)
Sherlock Fanfic: I Think I'll Go For A Walk
Title: I Think I'll Go For a Walk
Fandom: Sherlock (BBC)
Rating/Content: PG-13 Mildly injured and not-so-mildly embarrassed John, Sherlock and assorted Yarders being prats. Also quite ridiculous.
Word Count: 710-ish
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters or their world.
Summary: A minor accident in the flat ends up being a major annoyance for John.
A/N: For watsons_woes July Writing Prompt Challenge #20 "Rabbit Season" which entails picking from prior watsons_woes Challenges and prompts. This sort-of fills Challenges 7 (Embarass Watson) 15 ("You're useless to me like this.") and 16 (Minor Injury). Title is a quote from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

I Think I'll Go For a Walk
by Caffienekitty

"You're useless to me like this, I'll have you know."

John gritted his teeth and hobbled across the wide car park toward the crime scene. "Shut up."

"The corpse may in fact decay before we arrive."

John glared up at Sherlock, who was taking one stride for every three of John's halting steps and jittering with frustration. "Your fault, you know. If you hadn't left the bloody hoover out all over the floor-"

"It was standing in for the Chunnel."

"Whatever. If it had been put away instead of left out being the bloody Chunnel and half hidden under the coffee table-"

"Northern France." Sherlock took another measured step.

John sighed explosively. "If the bloody thing was where it was supposed to be instead of where it was, I wouldn't have tripped on it and sprained my ankle at half four in the morning, would I?"

Sherlock glanced over with a raised eyebrow. "John, we've been living together for four months. You should know by know that walking through the sitting room at any time of day or night without due care and attention may be hazardous."

John huffed. "It's a sitting room Sherlock, not the M1. It should be safe to cross."

"It is, for certain values of safe." Sherlock frowned down at John's right foot.

"Oh, the ankle?" John said faux-mildly. "Yeah, it's fine, thanks. Hurts like blue murder and should by all rights be elevated with ice right now, but why not traipse across the largest car park in London at dawn instead?"

Sherlock turned and started walking backward in front of John. "You realise that you might walk faster if you stopped talking?"

John seethed and hobbled silently, wishing for the twelfth time since the injury that he hadn't donated his old cane to a charity shop. Sherlock smirked, the smirk fading as he glanced down again at John's foot, and turned to face forward.

The undifferentiated blocks of flats around the car park loomed closer. "Which one is it?" John asked, wincing.

"That one, obviously." Sherlock pointed at one on the eastern edge, around which John could now see police cars and cordons, and officers milling about. Squinting he could make out Sgt Donovan talking to Lestrade, and Lestrade looking at his watch.

"There's not much time allowed for this, John. We have to get there before-" Sherlock stopped and looked at John.

John kept walking. "What?"

In a bustle of coat, Sherlock grabbed John around the middle and lifted him up.

"OI!" John shouted, struggling in confusion. "Let go!"

"We have ten minutes in which to get to the crime scene, observe it, and make my deductions clear to those fools." Sherlock hoisted John, still struggling, over his shoulder. "This will go much faster and be much less painful for your ankle if I simply carry you."

"What!? No!" Head hanging down Sherlock's back, John gave up squirming in favour of hanging on to his flatmate's coat to keep from falling off his shoulder when Sherlock resumed full stride with his ridiculous long legs. Soon John could hear the assorted police, SOCO and CID officers laughing at the sight they must make.

"Oi, you lot, shut it!" shouted Lestrade. The snickers died down to amused mutters and coughs.

"Hello Freak," came Sgt Donovan's voice from the other side of Sherlock. "Bringing your own corpse to crime scenes now?"

"John's sprained his ankle, obviously," Sherlock snapped.

"Morning Sherlock. Dr Watson," said Lestrade with the faintest lilt of laughter in his voice, addressing John's upraised posterior. "You're looking well."

"Hello." John waved from behind Sherlock's right hip. "You can put me down now, please Sherlock."

"I don't know." Lestrade's voice was cheerfully disingenuous, and John suddenly regretted beating him so soundly at darts the last time they were at the pub. "Body's on the fifth floor and the elevator's bust."

"I'll manage," said Sherlock, settling John into a less awkward position over his shoulder. "He should stay off the ankle."

"Really, Sherlock, I can walk!"

"Crime scene, now." Sherlock strode into the building, still carrying John.

Behind them John could see the small crowd of grinning officers watching their odd progress. He groaned and covered his face with one hand, hanging on to the back of Sherlock's coat with the other. When we get home, I am going to strangle him with his bloody 'Chunnel'.

(that's it)

Tags: , , ,
Current Mood: exanimate exanimate
Current Music: vent fan

17 comments or Leave a comment
(Deleted comment)
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: July 20th, 2013 08:40 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks. :-)
ciaranbochna From: ciaranbochna Date: July 20th, 2013 04:11 pm (UTC) (Link)
*Chortles*. Well of course that's the solution!! Excellent:)
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: July 20th, 2013 08:40 pm (UTC) (Link)
Entirely logical.
monkeybard From: monkeybard Date: July 20th, 2013 04:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
*snort* ROFL! Love it! You've chosen just the right time-frame for this, too. Any early or later and it just wouldn't fly. :-D
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: July 20th, 2013 08:42 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm glad the time-frame worked, I went back the the BBC's blog for John Watson to figure out when to set this and got sidetracked by re-reading it for an hour.
irismay42 From: irismay42 Date: July 20th, 2013 05:46 pm (UTC) (Link)
Heee! I actually picture this happening!

Fancy tripping over the Chunnel, though! How clumsy!
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: July 20th, 2013 08:43 pm (UTC) (Link)
Yes but you wouldn't expect the Chunnel to be laying across the floor though.
fanbot From: fanbot Date: July 20th, 2013 07:05 pm (UTC) (Link)
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: July 20th, 2013 08:43 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
samalander_dawn From: samalander_dawn Date: July 20th, 2013 07:07 pm (UTC) (Link)
I can so see this....
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: July 20th, 2013 08:44 pm (UTC) (Link)
It makes for an interesting image.
keerawa From: keerawa Date: July 20th, 2013 11:27 pm (UTC) (Link)
Very funny. I like Sherlock's mixture of smirk and care, Lestrade's reaction, and Donovan's oh so perfect 'Bringing your own corpse to crime scenes now?'
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: July 22nd, 2013 05:48 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, glad you liked it!
gardnerhill From: gardnerhill Date: July 21st, 2013 04:52 am (UTC) (Link)
Snort! Yeah, that's the trifecta all right.
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: July 22nd, 2013 05:49 am (UTC) (Link)
Whump, embarrassment and Sherlock being a prat. :-)
maestress83 From: maestress83 Date: July 21st, 2013 01:54 pm (UTC) (Link)
Poor John! :) Yes, I'm laughing at him too.
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: July 22nd, 2013 05:49 am (UTC) (Link)
Poor John indeed.
17 comments or Leave a comment