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Mini-Reaction: Doctor Who 7.0X - CaffieneKittySpace
('i' before 'e' if you're looking for me)
Mini-Reaction: Doctor Who 7.0X
It's A Doctor Who Christmas! From two years ago! Briefly!

Doctor Who 7.0X -"The Doctor, the Widow and the Wardrobe"

-Opening shot combining visual reference to Star Wars and soundtrack reference to 2001: A Space Odyssey bizarre yet awesome.

-"People of Earth, you stand alone-" *BOOM* Heh. Eleven's getting efficient at making problems explode, but I don't know if that's a good thing.

-Uh, hanging out the open hull of the ship at that distance from Earth is not good. Atmosphere?

-"Come here, space suit!" HEE!

-And falling towards Earth and trying to get into a space suit is kind of nifty. But seriously, ATMOSPHERE???

-Also gravity. Gravity hurts when it makes you leave a crater. Oh I suppose the atmosphere thing can be handwaved by the Gallifreyan respiratory bypass system and the suit has handwavey anti-grav shock absorbers or something, but some kind of attempt at a pseudo-science explanation would be peachy keen and keep my handwaving hand from getting tired to early.

-The boy's sister with her assumption that any word she doesn't know is made up is quite annoying. I'm guessing she'll get over it by the end of the episode, but right now it's making her seem like kind of an idiot.

-"Tell him that I've borrowed Mister Goldsmith's car. That I found a spaceman in a field, possibly an angel, but he's injured and I can't get his helmet off, so I'm having to take him into town to find a police telephone box, all right? " XD See? How does that mum have a daughter that thinks astronomy and agriculture are made up words?

-"Where's she going?"/"...Out." Hee! This family is interesting.

-"Impact suit, still repairing me." Oh fine then, nanobots and inertial dampening jelly or something. You could have said that earlier you know. And that still doesn't explain the atmosphere and lack of depressurization. *grumps*

-"Suddenly the last 900 years of time travel seem a bit less secure." Yep. Or she's got something odd going on since she's not terribly phased by any of this.

-"Wrong one." Or it could be a regular Police Box. Hee!

-"Tell Anderson we'll be home for Christmas." Ow. I understand that, but holy crap ow. *struggles not to make a Sherlock reference about Anderson facing the wall*

-The Caretaker. A change of identity? "Usually called the Doctor. Or the Caretaker or Get Off This Planet. Though, strictly speaking, that probably isn't a name." Hahaha.

-Whizzing chairs, lemonade on tap. Someone knows it's a problem he can't solve and is trying to distract them with an extra dose of whacky. Oh Eleven.

-The kids' room. Ohhhh definitely overcompensating.

-"Because if I tell them now, then Christmas will always be what took their father away from them, and no one should have to live like that." OUCH. "Because every time you see them happy, you remember how sad they're going to be, and it breaks your heart." OUUUUCH.

-Rotating Christmas tree EEEEEk. O.O

-"Best Christmas ever." Oh dear. And then something starts glowing for no reason. Eeek again.

-Hallway structure looks familiar, was this the same location they used in the last Sherlock episode of Series 3 for the kids' school? And also something in early series six with Canton skulking around in it?

-It's a wardrobe, ha. "Why would you rewire a wardrobe?"/"Have you seen the way I dress?" Pft!

-A box into winter. Cool. Something whispering "save us"? Eeek.

-Oh look, it's a tree... egg... silver thing. Hunh. DON'T TOUCH IT! Arg. And now it's growing. Wonderful. *headdesk*

-"He will follow." Okay kid, Rule One: do the opposite of what the whispery unseen voices say. Or Rule 8 or whatever. It's totally one of the single-digit rules.

-"Grow up, Lily." Ow. That coming from Eleven and his previously stated opinion of growing up? Owww.

-"There's never anything dangerous here. *rumble* There are sentences I should just keep away from." Yes! Yes you should!

-Tree farm oh crap. The last big bunch of trees that was harvested on this show had shadows that eat people living in it. O.O

-"Please say we can tell the difference between wool and side arms." How does that even happen?? Also HI BILL BAILEY!! (Also known as Manny off Black Books and a semi-regular on QI and assorted other awesome things.) WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?! :-D

-Aw tears. Don't blame her at all. She was already having an unbearably stressful Christmas.

-The tower interior looks like the set of the Tooth Fairy's castle from Hogfather. *squints* maybe.

-Oh hey! From Nine's era there was that tree queen, is this forest related?

-Eleven asking the little girl the "you ask me so you can tell me" companion questions. Aw. He really would have done well with little Amelia as a Companion.

-"Why does a forest need people?" ...mulch? That'd be the standard assumption. Impractical though. I think maybe, since it's a tree farm, they are trying to find ways to communicate and show they are intelligent before it's too late.

-"Ma'am, please stop crying. I can't interrogate you while you're crying. This is a military engagement! There's no crying in military engagements." LOVE Bill Bailey. Perfect for this leader of the nutjob military tree farmers role. Love all of them really. It's like the Ahnk-Morpork Guards got loose from Discworld.

-Gun. Okay. Sensible when crawling into strange boxes but still *facepalm*

-"There's nothing you could say that would convince me you'd ever use that gun."/"Oh really? Well, I'm looking for my children." Yep. Get out of the way of mama bear.


-"Of course! It's wood!" *FACEPALM* Might as well pack up the screwdriver then. It's a match for the military tree farmers natural-fabric-blind scanner.

-"Never underestimate a tree, Lily. I met the Forest of Cheem once. She fancied me." Yeah, that's the one Nine met. Aw.

-"Stars coming out of the trees. Oh pretty. Probably a salute upon imminent coronation of Cyril the Tree-Speaker or something. Still pretty.

-"Crying when you're happy. Good for you, that's so human." Aw.

-"Androzani trees. Greatest fuel source ever. The entire area is being melted down for battery fluid." That really doesn't seem like an effective method of harvesting unless there's a hidden drainage system. Though it does explain the state of their armour. Also explains why the trees need to communicate in a big damn hurry.

-Life force leaving. Still pretty, but sad. Is the tower an escape pod?

-"Your coming was foretold." Oh that's never ever a good thing to hear. It usually means quests no other sucker would go on before you got there.

-Acid rain, hunh. Just a tiiiiiiny bit of environmental message there, yeah?

-"Mummy always comes."/"Not this time." MEANWHILE, MUMMY IS NAVIGATING A 54TH CENTURY HARVESTER POD THING BY GUESS TO GO SAVE HER KIDS. Say what you will of Moffat's Who, his mother figures kick a lot of ass.

-"I think I recognize the driving." Hee!

-And mothers again as she becomes the new tree-speaker whatever in place of her son because. "The Mothership." ...gaaaaaah *headdesk*

-"Do what I do. Hold tight and pretend it's a plan." I think I'll need that on an icon.

-Shooting off into space in the 54th Century. That's going to be tricky to get home from.... HOLY CRAP THEY'RE IN THE TIME VORTEX. Wait. Where are the tree souls going? Not to the Vashta Nerada forests I hope because that would suck for them.

-"She must only think." Handy navigation control to have on a completely unfamiliar ship made by trees.

-"I don't have a home to think of." Oh, ow Eleven. Also, I think I can hear the Tardis saying, "Gee thanks, honey."

-Oh god. Yeah. Put a recent widow (or most any widow) in control of a time-travelling ship, where do you think they'll go.

-"Your mother is flying a forest through the time vortex, be a little impressed!" Hee!

-He followed her home. Yep. And he's going to again isn't he. Oh god.

-"Is Daddy dead?" NOT YET, KID.

-"I'm sorry my love." No worries, dude, just follow the giant glowing ball home.

-"The souls of the trees are out among the stars, and they're shining, very happy." Okay good. Phew.

-"What did you mean, watch him die?" Oh and here comes some more big ow, because of course they're going to want answers before they look outside the ship after what they just found out.

-"There were no stars." OH YES THERE WERE. A whole forest of them, or just one big one. Oh just- *flappy wibbles*

-"We took a shortcut." Seriously, how did she get so unfazeable. It's awesome, but I keep wondering what happened in her childhood, or if she's a Tenza like the boy in Night Terrors, or... *checks IMDB* Nope, the actress has not had a role in any Narnia iteration. Darn, that would have been cool if she'd played one of the kids from the original BBC series from the 80's.

-Hey, it's Christmas and London didn't get the crap hammered out of it and no one died (Assuming the full crew of the bomber made it too and are right now having a very weird debriefing followed by a nice refreshing glass of Retcon somewhere under Canary Wharf. And Anderson's totally fine. *nods*

-"Family of your own."/"Well, no, actually."/"Oh. Yes, yes, you said no family. But there must be people who love you. Friends."/"No. Well, yes, but. It's a long story. But they all think I'm dead." Yeah that's really not gonna fly with Madge. "You must tell them at once. Off you go." Yep!

-"Just the Caretaker returning to the Time Vortex." Seriously, how is she so unfazeable??

-Water pistol for the carol singers. Ha.

-Nothing like a dead friend turning up alive on your doorstep on Christmas. Though Amy's in the loop thanks to River so less of a heart-attack risk. ALSO. I didn't mention it in the last batch because I was rushing but Eleven TOTALLY REICHENBACH'D HIS BLOODY COMPANIONS THERE and Amy really needs to punch him or faint or something now as one of the Watsons in this scenario.

-Shooting him with the water pistol will do, yes. *nods*

-"River told us." Yep. In direct contravention of the "Spoilers" policy so you know it wasn't done lightly.

-"Not gonna hug first."/"Nor am I." Idiots. Hugs are simultaneous. Everyone wins.

-"There's a place set for you."/"But you didn't know I was coming. Why would you set me a place?"/"Oh, because we always do. It's Christmas, you moron." AWWWWWWWW.

-Eleven happy crying awwwwwwww! It's about time, you poor depressed bastard!

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