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Sherlock Fanfic: An Exercise in Drama (JWP 2015 #6) - CaffieneKittySpace
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Sherlock Fanfic: An Exercise in Drama (JWP 2015 #6)
Title: An Exercise in Drama
Fandom: Sherlock (BBC)
Alternate Postings: AO3
Rating/Content: PG13, silliness, acting
Warnings: none
Word Count: 535
Disclaimer: Not my world.
Notes: Written for watsons_woes July Writing Prompt #6: Quotation: "Imitate the actions of a tiger." I went down the silly road. It was this or Katy Perry.

Summary: Sherlock and John engage in recreational zoomorphism for a case. Sort of.

An Exercise in Drama

"And now to begin, class." The instructor's voice was artificially posh and quavering, like a panto version of Queen Victoria. "As the Bard himself has suggested, we shall imitate the actions of a tiger. And begin!"

The students around them erupted into growls and snarling, clawing the air, and occasionally giggling in very un-tiger-like ways.

John snorted quietly. Bunch of peevish tabbies. "Which of these so-called actors are we supposed to be watching anyway, Sherlock?"

"The instructor," Sherlock said, prowling behind him.

John glanced over his shoulder then back at the instructor, who was perhaps taking the opportunity to rehearse her audition piece for the role of Grizabella in Cats. Her actions looked nothing like a tiger's. "The instructor? What's she d-"

"Be a tiger, John."

John waved vaguely clawed fingers and felt far more like an ass than a tiger. He whispered to his stalking flatmate, "What's the instructor done, then?"

"Mmm." Sherlock climbed up onto a chair to loom over the classroom. "A lot of mediocre theatre, mostly with a dramatic society in Croydon. She was also an extra in Broadchurch."

Frowning (in as tiger-like manner as he could) John was confused. "Did she witness a crime in a theatre somewhere... got involved in some dodgy dealings at ITV, something like that?"

Sherlock grinned a very feline grin. "She's merely an acting instructor."

"What?" John dropped his entirely un-tiger-like hands. "She's not involved in any criminal activity at all?"

"Aside from a deplorable turn in Streetcar Named Desire according to the critics, nope."

John didn't think tigers popped their P's like that but let it slide for the greater issue. "What are we doing here then!? I thought this acting class bollocks was for a case?"

"It's for all cases." Sherlock slid from the chair and circled John predatorily. "An investment in skills development. At Baskerville you were in familiar territory and managed to carry out the lie of why we were there in a believable fashion. However, when you're not on familiar ground and required to use subterfuge in interviewing a client or suspect, your capacity for dissimulation is deplorable."

John was getting dizzy from the circling. "My what capacity?"

"You are a bad liar, John. It could jeopardise a case or even get us killed under the wrong circumstances. Your acting ability is in dire need of improvement."

John squawked. "My-!"

"Ahem! Dr Watson! I don't see you rrreleasing your inner tigerrr!" the instructor caroled from the front of the room, rolling her R's like dice at a craps table.

Sherlock blinked at John. Tigrishly.

Glaring at Sherlock, John called back to the instructor. "I'm lurking in the long grass, twitching the tip of my tail and getting ready to tear the throat out of a really annoying gazelle."

The instructor trilled a deliberately charming laugh, and her attention moved on to the rest of the class.

Sherlock chuckled, somehow still managing to sound like a tiger whilst doing it.

"You are not a tiger, nor a gazelle," John snapped. "You're a bloody aggravating prat!"

Sherlock smirked and slunk off to mix with the rest of the class.

The instructor clapped for attention. "Bravo and brava, all! Next, we shall emulate the motions of the crocodile."

John sighed, grumbled, and tried to think like a reptile.

(that's it)

My JWP Index

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8 comments or Leave a comment
rojo3131 From: rojo3131 Date: July 7th, 2015 06:53 am (UTC) (Link)
At least it seems like Sherlock is enjoying it! Either the class or to make John feel like an ass.
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: July 9th, 2015 07:33 pm (UTC) (Link)
I think he likes getting John a bit flustered now and then.
capt_facepalm From: capt_facepalm Date: July 7th, 2015 01:00 pm (UTC) (Link)
All of this is so perfectly hilarious.
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: July 9th, 2015 07:34 pm (UTC) (Link)
Aw, thanks!
halfshellvenus From: halfshellvenus Date: July 7th, 2015 04:34 pm (UTC) (Link)
and getting ready to tear the throat out of a really annoying gazelle."

Which is the only right response in that situation. Not that Sherlock doesn't have a point, but come ON. Learning bad acting from an instructor who can't act helps no one. :O
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: July 9th, 2015 07:36 pm (UTC) (Link)
Well, this is the first class of a really beginner acting class, which is why there's a panto instructor and they're doing junior high level warm-up exercises. Sherlock will pull them out before too long.
methylviolet10b From: methylviolet10b Date: July 18th, 2015 08:43 pm (UTC) (Link)
*giggles wildly* Too funny!
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: July 20th, 2015 07:12 am (UTC) (Link)
I have a weakness for making the boys look silly now and then.
8 comments or Leave a comment