Title: Art Therapy
Characters: Dean (6), assorted unnamed OC's
Rating: GEN, PG
Word Count: 1200-ish words
Disclaimer: All Kripke's.
Warnings: AU - Dean was the only official survivor of the fire. No plot, no point, no continuation. Epistolary format, sort of? Likely to contain many educational, psychological, and bureaucratic errors.
Summary: Dean's a quiet child, but there's something wrong.
A/N: I don't think I was ever going anywhere with this. It just is what it is. Found in bits during the recent text-file sort. Meh.
Dean Winchester, Mid-term Report card, Grade 1:
I am thrilled with the way Dean draws eyes. He shows a great attention to detail, shading the sclera at the corners, and even drawing the highlight on the upper iris and the corresponding inner highlight in the lower iris. This attention to detail does not show in his other art projects however, which is something that can be addressed with time. He is a bit behind his age in other drawing projects in fact, particularly those involving home and family, but given his history I can understand why.
I just wanted to note that his drawings of eyes are fantastic, and seem very alive. He draws them every single day, somewhere in every picture, even when there is nothing in the picture that should have eyes. If he'd only draw them a different color than golden yellow.
Dean is a very imaginative boy.
Teacher's verbal incident report:
It was a mistake to hide the yellow crayons, but I didn't realize how Dean would react. I thought it was nothing, just he always draws eyes that are yellow.
He's a bright boy. Very quiet, but given his history and time in the foster care system, I wasn't surprised. He draws the eyes all the time though, at least one, every day, on something. They are always in excellent detail, but every day, and always yellow.
Honestly, they were creeping me out a bit. I thought he'd gone without drawing one yesterday, but when I was going through the math classwork at home, marked his exercises and turned it over and there was this... huge yellow eye drawn on the back, taking up the whole page. It was late at night. It made me jump. Silly really.
So this morning I got in early and locked all the yellow crayons and markers in my drawer. Not because it scared me, but because I wanted to try to get Dean to express himself in- in a more varied manner.
Well. At first I thought I'd done the right thing. He was more socially active through the day. He actually got up and talked to the other children, trying to find a yellow crayon. But then things- he began to get agitated. He dumped the crayon boxes on the ground, he started pulling things from the shelves, throwing them to the floor, across the room. He was breathing really fast, hyperventilating.
I thought he was angry that there were no yellow crayons, and he was having a temper tantrum, but it wasn't like that. He was scared. I think it was an anxiety attack.
I tried to calm him down, get him to stop so I could give the crayons back, and that's when he attacked. Kicked me in the shin, would have scratched my eyes if he was taller I bet, and of course bit me. Oh, it's not bad. The bleeding's stopped now.
He's really got some issues, hunh? He's always been so quiet. Poor little guy. I hope he'll be okay.
Transcript of therapy session:
Therapist: "Why is it so important that the eyes are always yellow, Dean?"
Dean Winchester: "Because they are."
T: "I don't know anybody who has yellow eyes."
T: "Oh? Why's that good?"
DW: "You don't want to know him."
T: "What kind of a person has yellow eyes like that?"
DW: "A bad guy."
T: "Is he an alien bad guy? A super-powered bad guy"
DW: "A real bad guy. You don't want to know him."
T: "If he's so bad, Dean, why do you draw his eyes?"
DW: "'Cause he saw me. He saw me, and he saw me run away."
T: "Run away?"
DW: [No response. Sounds of paper rustling. Therapist notes indicate subject drew steadily throughout the session.]
T: "Were you scared of the man with the eyes Dean?"
DW: [No response]
T: "What was the man with they eyes doing when he saw you?"
DW: "I ran away."
[Silence for 8 seconds]
T: "...When did you see the man, Dean?"
DW: "He saw me run away."
T: "Okay... What do you think the man thought when he saw you run away?"
DW: "... it made him laugh."
T: "Why did he laugh Dean?"
DW: [shouting] "Cause he wanted me to run away! So he- so he-"
T: "So he what, Dean?"
DW: [No response]
T: "When you saw the yellow-eyed man, where were your mom and dad?"
DW: "Daddy was downstairs."
T: "Where was your mother when the yellow-eyed man saw you?"
DW: "On the wall in Sammy's room."
T: "...That's a strange place to be."
DW: "That's where she was."
T: "Why was she on the wall?"
DW: "The yellow-eyed man was putting her on the wall. He had his eyes on her."
T: "What was she doing?"
DW: "She saw me. She told me to run. He saw me. I ran."
T: "Why do you draw the yellow eyes, Dean?"
DW: "To see."
T: "To see?"
DW: "He saw me. Now I see him. If I can see his eyes, I can see him."
T: "...Why is it important to see him?"
DW: "I need to see him so he won't see me. I need to see him so I can take Sammy back from him."
T: "...Sammy was your little brother."
DW: "He's my brother. The man with the yellow eyes took him away."
T: "...Did he take your mother and father too? The yellow-eyed man?"
DW: "No. He killed them. They died. He took Sammy away. I have to see his eyes so I can find Sammy."
T: "Dean... Sammy died in the fire too."
DW: "I have to see his eyes. I can find Sammy if I see his eyes. I can get him back. I'm gonna get him back."
[Therapist notes indicate subject became unresponsive to further questions at this point, entering a fugue-like state of drawing yellow eyes.]
Therapist Notes and recommendations :
All tests have ruled out any forms of autism. I believe the subject has transposed memories of the fire that killed his family to a malicious male figure with yellow eyes. His story of the man pushing his mother up a wall in his baby brother's nursery does not vary substantially between tellings.
In the subject's cognitive divergence, the yellow-eyed man also represents the subject's survivor guilt of having run from the fire when his mother told him to. He has made the fire and his guilt into a figure which can be fought and plans vengeance against it. He also believes his infant brother is alive and that this yellow-eyed man has taken him away.
This story of the man with the yellow eyes has been a way for the subject to cope with memories the subject does not understand or is not willing to accept. The subject is very young, and may grow out of this state of cognitive divergence with time and therapy, as he did his earlier trauma-induced muteness.
However, at this point the subject's behavior is becoming disruptive in a standard classroom setting, and medication may be required if he is to remain in the mainstream school system.
Until the boy is able to accept the loss of his family in the fire, all future foster-care placements should be made aware of this behavioral issue. His current placement has expressed concern that they will be unable to provide the care he needs. Another placement is being sought.
Letter from New Foster Placement
To the Kansas Child Welfare Department:
Thank you once again for allowing the transfer of Dean Winchester out-of-state to our home in Minnesota. We have had excellent results with several similarly traumatized children and believe we can provide real help for Dean. We'll ensure he gets all the help he needs to beat his specter of the yellow-eyed man, and a solid foundation for all the challenges he is yet to face in life.
James Murphy, Pastor
Church of St. Boniface, Blue Earth Minnesota
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