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SPN Fanfic: Definitions - CaffieneKittySpace
('i' before 'e' if you're looking for me)
SPN Fanfic: Definitions
Title: Definitions
Characters: Pastor Jim and Sam (4)
Rating: GEN, G, pastfic
Word Count: 1130-ish words
Disclaimer: Not mine, just for fun.
Warnings: No spoilers for anything past first season. Wee!chester. Dubious four-year-old behaviour. Potentially laughable church architecture. Quibblable characterizations. Silly and pointless.
Summary: Sam asks questions, Pastor Jim tries to answer them.
A/N: This is for charis_kalos who got ordained last weekend and got official permission to guide people on their spiritual journeys. For you, a Pastor Jim and wee!Sam ficlet. It's something that's been wandering around my head for a long while. Hope it fits and you like the colour, but I think I kept the receipt, just in case...

by CaffieneKitty

"Pastor Jim?" piped a voice from the doorway of the small front office.

Jim placed a finger on the passage he'd been trying to incorporate into Sunday's sermon and turned his attention to John Winchester's youngest son. "Yes, Sam?"

"What's 'omnius' mean?"


"Yeah, omni-" Sam's face squished up in concentration. "Om-in-us. What's it mean?"

"It's like 'threatening'. Like something bad is going to happen."

Sam's eyes widened in alarm. "Oh!"

Great job, Murphy. Scare a four-year-old with a vocabulary lesson. "Well, not bad bad, necessarily. When there's big dark clouds in the sky and there's a storm coming, some people will say the clouds look ominous, because it's threatening to rain. See?"

"Oh," Sam said, looking back over his shoulder towards the toys from the church daycare scattered on the vestibule carpet.

Jim turned to put a bookmark over the passage he had still been marking with his finger and turned back. "Why do you ask-" he began, but Sam had turned and run back into the vestibule, sock feet thudding on the patterned carpet.

Probably just as well he'd gone off to play again. Asking little Sam Winchester why he'd asked a question was as pointless as wondering if the sun would rise in the morning. Sam would ask questions. That was Sam.

Dean was currently registered at Blue Earth Elementary since the Winchesters were roosting for a while; no doubt he was at that moment figuring out new and inventive ways of getting kicked out of second grade, so he could be home with Sam in case their dad came back in the middle of the day, and so he could field his brother's questions.

There was rattling in the vestibule and Jim looked up to see Sam crouched down next to a pile of Lego bricks, using a hobby horse to herd them closer together and frowning intently.

With a temporary lack of Dean to ask questions, Sam asked Pastor Jim. Yesterday they'd covered why the moon changed shape all the time, what gravity was and why it couldn't stop for a little while so someone could get the toy airplane off the roof next door, and why Miss Stacey who sometimes played the church organ always wore a hat with a dead bird on it.

Sam dropped the horse suddenly and scampered back to the doorway of Jim's office.

"Pastor Jim?" Sam was still frowning, and kept glancing back towards the vestibule.

"Yes Sam?"

With a grave expression, Sam whispered, "Is something bad gonna happen to the Legos?"

Pastor Jim blinked. "What?"

Sam peered back over his shoulder to the pile of toys that Jim now noted contained most of the Lego and Duplo sets from the Sunday School and daycare rooms.

"Is something bad gonna happen to the Legos?" Sam repeated in a nervous whisper, "Or is something bad gonna happen to me if I play with the Legos?"

Not having an answer to a question he didn't understand was not a new thing to Pastor Jim. "What makes you think that, Sam?"

"Because they're om-in-us."

Jim looked over the top of Sam's head at the pile of bright plastic bricks in the sunny vestibule, herded together by the hobby horse. They were about the least ominous thing in the old church.

"They don't look ominous to me Sam."

Sam turned to face Jim quickly. "But you said! You and dad!"

Jim quickly searched his memory, but had no recollection of claiming any child's toy portended evil. At least not recently, and certainly not within Sam's hearing. That thing with the cursed Russian nesting doll set had been over three months ago, and that had been Bobby Singer's.

"When was this, Sam?"

"After dinner, when you're showing dad those words, it's at the end. You say it every the time! Right near the end: In fern Alice, add verse airy, om-in-us Lego!"

Pastor Jim burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"Oh! Oh Sam. That's not about Lego!"

"It's not? The Legos aren't om-in-us?"

"No, no. The worst they do is hurt your foot if you step on them in your sock feet." Or choke you if you swallow them but let's not go planting any ideas in little heads.

"Oh. So... if it's not about Legos, what's it mean? What's the thing that's om-in-us?"

Jim looked at Sam's earnest face. Sam was John's child, and John had laid out the differing 'need-to-know' rules for his children with crystal clarity. "...it's part of... it's something like a prayer. It's in Latin."


"An old language. But very useful. That 'ominous Lego' part is actually 'omnis legio'"

"What's that mean?"

"... every legion. A legion is like an army," he added, anticipating another question.

"Oh." Sam bit his lip in thought. "Dad was in the Marines."

"That he was."

"He doesn't like the Army much. Is the prayer to keep the Army away?"

"...No..." Not the army of any earthly nation at least.

Sam sat on a box of hymnals. "Can you teach it to me?"

Jim took a breath and let it out slowly. "...it's a special kind of prayer, Sam. See, sometimes words have a lot of power-"

"Like the words Dean used that got him sent out of school last week?"

"Er." Comparing a 17th century exorcism to four-letter words most adults were not happy to hear coming from any second-grader seemed a trifle blasphemous for a sunny Tuesday afternoon. "No. That's very different. It's a very serious prayer, and only to be used at certain times."

Sam opened his mouth and inhaled a breath that Jim knew would be released in the form of questions Jim wouldn't want to weigh a four-year-old down with answers to, whether John permitted it or not. He forestalled the oncoming storm of questions with a final, "It's complicated."

The breath was released in a sigh as world-weary as only a four-year-old used to never getting a straight answer could draw up. "Everything's 'compulcated'" Sam muttered, frowning at his feet.

"Very true." More than you know, kiddo. I'm sorry.

Sam sat silent for a while, frowning and tracing part of the carpet patterning with a sock-covered toe before glancing back to the pile of toys, still under the guard of the hobby horse. "So the Legos are okay?"

"Perfectly fine, Sam."

Sam hopped off the box of hymnals and scurried back to the vestibule. Jim watched him poke the pile with the horse once more before flopping onto the carpet to paw through the plastic bricks.

How John Winchester expected to keep a curious and perceptive child innocent of hunting when he was dragging the boys all over God's green earth with him, hunting for his wife's killer, Jim hadn't the slightest idea.

Jim turned back to his desk and reopened the Bible.

Now, the real trouble was, when he and John went through the Rituale Romanum again tonight, how on Earth was he going to keep a straight face when John got to the part about the 'ominous Lego'?

- - -
(that's it, hope it's okay)

Post A/N: Latin and latin translation from Super-Wiki

Tags: , , ,
Current Mood: exhausted exhausted
Current Music: bed, sleep, now.

26 comments or Leave a comment
saberivojo From: saberivojo Date: October 8th, 2008 09:46 am (UTC) (Link)
This made me snicker. This is Sam. And I love Pastor Jim and his patience.
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: October 9th, 2008 06:26 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you!
anniehow From: anniehow Date: October 8th, 2008 10:55 am (UTC) (Link)
*Melted from cuteness*

You write small children very well!
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: October 9th, 2008 06:27 am (UTC) (Link)
Really? I'm glad they turn out okay, I'm rarely around them in real life.
brigid_tanner From: brigid_tanner Date: October 8th, 2008 12:05 pm (UTC) (Link)
That's so sweet! Loved the ominous Legos. Pastor Jim is great. Loved Sam and his questions.
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: October 9th, 2008 06:28 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you! :-)
pinkphoenix1985 From: pinkphoenix1985 Date: October 8th, 2008 01:08 pm (UTC) (Link)
this is amazing!
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: October 9th, 2008 06:28 am (UTC) (Link)
blucasbabe From: blucasbabe Date: October 8th, 2008 01:59 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hee! Love tiny!Sam, and your version of him is always lovely. :)
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: October 9th, 2008 06:29 am (UTC) (Link)
Aw, thanks!
delphinapterus From: delphinapterus Date: October 8th, 2008 03:36 pm (UTC) (Link)
*dies* I love how ernest Sam is without being too cutesy. Paster Jim comes across as very kind but a bit at sea when it comes to dealing with small children. Really like how you write young Sam.
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: October 9th, 2008 06:34 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you! I always stress out about writing the boys as kids, so I'm glad little Sam was balanced. Pastor Jim... I really wish he had been in the series more. He's a fascinating character concept and the actor got so much across about him in the, what, two minutes we saw him?
samalander_dawn From: samalander_dawn Date: October 8th, 2008 03:38 pm (UTC) (Link)
awwwwwwwwww *cuddles the fic*
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: October 9th, 2008 06:34 am (UTC) (Link)
kalquessa From: kalquessa Date: October 8th, 2008 06:15 pm (UTC) (Link)
Aww! *hugs fic* Fic like this always makes me so sad that we only got a few minutes of Pastor Jim in canon.
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: October 9th, 2008 06:36 am (UTC) (Link)
I know! There were mentions before, but I wish they'd let him survive.
charis_kalos From: charis_kalos Date: October 9th, 2008 12:19 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh, thank you! I love cute wee!Sam - and I AM that out-of-depth pastor trying to explain things to four-year-olds (like the one who thinks I am God - still struggling with that one!)

(Speaking of mishearing, when Bobby was explaining to the boys in 4.02 that hunter Olivia was "one state over" I heard "once slept over" and for a moment thought that he was saying they'd had a one night stand. Don't know where my head was, but probably somewhere it shouldn't have been - like Bobby's sex life.)
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: October 9th, 2008 06:37 am (UTC) (Link)
(like the one who thinks I am God - still struggling with that one!)

Hee! He'll grow out of it.

I heard "once slept over"

Yeah, that would have put a different spin on things!
minx999 From: minx999 Date: October 9th, 2008 02:13 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh, that was so cute! I giggled like crazy over Sam and his 'ominous legos'. And bless Pastor Jim for having such patience to explain Latin to a 4 year old. This was wonderful!
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: October 9th, 2008 06:39 am (UTC) (Link)
Thank you! It's something that's been buzzing arund in my head since the line first came up on the show. I've been batting it around every so often, and this is the result. :-)
From: (Anonymous) Date: October 10th, 2008 05:33 am (UTC) (Link)
*giggles and snickers at screen* Well, for not being around little ones often--wow, that is definitely Sam's voice(shrunken) but there. Sooo cute.


I wonder how long Sam has been wearing flannel shirts--or when Dean got his first leather jacket..hmmmm
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: October 13th, 2008 07:26 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks! I am so glad the kid voices come out okay.
cloudlessnights From: cloudlessnights Date: October 10th, 2008 11:51 am (UTC) (Link)
*dies* That's just adorable - and it reminds me of what the parish priest of the village I grew up in once told me: when he was a kid, he was an altar boy, and masses were still held in Latin back then. So he and the other altar boys had to learn the prayers by heart without understanding a single word of it just by mimicing what the priest said - or what they thought he said. Some of their versions ended up being rather creative as well - there were no ominous Legos, alas, but some Japanese car brands may have snuck in at some point...
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: October 13th, 2008 07:29 pm (UTC) (Link)
I think that might have been a rather regular occurrence. learning Ave Maria in highschool chorus led to some interesting neologisms too :-D
kwhiteshark From: kwhiteshark Date: May 28th, 2010 06:38 pm (UTC) (Link)
Aww! This was cute! I love wee!Sam and his questions.
caffienekitty From: caffienekitty Date: May 29th, 2010 06:32 am (UTC) (Link)
Hee, thanks. I figure he was an inquisitive kid.
26 comments or Leave a comment